Im so attached to my best friend

I feel so attached to my girl best friend. I have known her for 5 months thru internet.

We usually call most of the the time. Our calls could even be like 15 hours long and sometimes we even sleep on the phone. And when we are not calling or texting, I just feel so empty. I used to be alone most of the time before meeting her and I genuinely enjoyed being alone, because I was doing whatever I wanted lol. But know I feel like I don't feel comfortable with that loneliness no more.

Yesterday, I was watching a movie with her, and she told me that she was going to play some games with a guy. She asked if I was okay with that, and I just answered that it was fine and not to worry about her going. But actually I didn't want her to go since I wanted to talk and stay with her for a bit more, but I wasn't able to say it, I just felt frozen, and now I feel so bad for not expressing myself last night, because she noticed that my "Yeah, thats fine" sounded sad, and she asked again if it was really okay because I didn't sound like it was okay. She asked like 4 times :(, but I just wasn't able to speak, idk why tbh :(, and tell her that I wanted to be her instead of she going to play with another guy.

When she was gone, I felt so empty. I didnt even get the best sleep, I just slept like 4 hours today. I was overthinking the whole night, I felt so anxious and jealous and replaceable :(, well, actually I still do. I really miss her when she is not with me, and I even was spamming reels to her last night since I feIt so anxious. I also feel so jealous when she plays with her friends. I know it's wrong, I know it's not a healthy way to love, and I would like to love her in a healthier way, and I feel like it's really reciprocated, but sometimes I just feel so scared of her abandoning me, or her spending the time she used to spend with me, with another friend then replacing me.

Loneliness hit me so hard last night, and with it, overthinking with a lotta negative thoughts. I would like to work on myself and love my friend in a healthier way, because I feel like my insecurities and anxious patterns are gonna distance us. Its smth i dont wanna happen since I really appreciate her and I really click with her, and I feel like she also does since we are so comfortable with eachother. Its just that idk where to start working on myself, I feel so guilty sometimes :(.