@Chrisdan
I lost a friendship by sharing part of my life story with my friend to help her understand that I am not just coming from a place of love but from true life experience. But it backfired.
I had a really good friend and she was struggling with a lot. Her family life was rough, she struggled financially, at the time we were young adults 19/20's. She left home to live on university campus, studying and working barely making ends meet. She confided in me a lot and I encouraged her a lot and never judged her. I was going through a lot of struggles of my own but never told her and I would sacrifice and help her where I can like with like groceries even though I was struggling myself. But I helped mostly by being a super supportive friend.
One day she told me that I could never really understand her struggle because my life is perfect. This was hilarious because it was so far from the truth that it was kind of sad. It just meant that I mask very well. Because between my panic attacks, financial struggles, abuse, depression, self harm and so much more, I was drowning but I always tried to be grateful and remain optimistic. I decided to share a bit (a very tiny bit) of some of the things I was facing just to make her more comfortable, knowing that I was my encouragements came from a place of understanding. But that took a horrible turn. She stoped me mid story and told me that she feels guilty for laying all her burdens on me when I was going through so much. She said that she now feels bad that I am coping so well with all my struggles and she is not. And that she cannot deal with all this because she does not even have the words to respond yo what I said. Although I explained that I did not want anything from her and I justvwanted to show her that I understand more that she could have known, she still said it was too much for her. I gave her time but she never returned my messages or calls after this conversation. A few months later she migrated and I never heard from or saw her again. We have mutual friends so I know that she is doing well I guess.
It honestly made me so insecure, I rarely ever share anything personal with anybody anymore. I just deal with everything on my own matter how deeply it hurts. Because I don't ever want to burden anyone and I don't want them to feel pressured. The reality is people see the smiling faces and are greeted by the warm hugs but they never really know the truth of what lies behind. I just want to encourage everyone to be kind because you never know what someone is facing and to please check in with your "strong" friends because they may be struggling but may never be vulnerable enough to ask for help. Please be kind 💞
I understand you and the struggles it's not an easy tax I hope you get better and get good friends ❤️
I had a friend group last year. They were people I really liked. But this year I wasn't in the same class as them. I struggled to keep contact with them and because I felt we were drifting apart I didn't make enough effort to make me included. I them tried to invite myself once but got lied to saying there were too much people at the party because they didn't want the friend(not from the group) who was coming with me. We continued to drift apart and when I made the decision to make efforts again i learned that a girl in the group said things about me behind my back, and didn't want to come to hang outs if I were invited. Made me drift away even more because apparently she wasn't the only gossiping( it wasn't really mean things either) I talked to her about it but she try to make me the villain saying that she thought I wanted to hit her because of a ***, but it was posted after I learned what she was doing lol so she was lying. She didn't think she was excluding me. At this point I almost never saw my friends at school let alone outside of school. I invite them all to my birthday but they even make the effort to respond for the gift or to know if they were coming. My friends organising my birthday had to run after them. For the last hang out she did it again. I talked to my closest friend in the group, she first told me that they thought about it but some in the group said that they wouldnt come if i came. She then told me to get over it, (not in a mean way), that it was a long time since ive been with them, a lot from the group didnt even thought to invite me and she couldnt do anything about it because i dont talk to the other anymore. (Dont really agree with that i talk with at leat 5 person of the group and i invited them to my birthday but i see why she says that.)She also told me that I was progressively excluded from the hang outs. Now I'm not part of the group and it hurt me very much. I feel like I list meaningful connections and I like that group very much. I feel like if I did more efforts back then instead of waiting to be seen and invited it would be different. But at the same time I feel like I did some efforts (my birthday for exemple) and I absolutely hate running after people. But maybe my efforts were too late.
I also don't know if I'm crazy to think that the girl is really in cause of most of my drifting apart, she don't think she has anything to be sorry for, even though she participated in my exclusion and she hadn't any reason to say such things again
I had a friend group last year. They were people I really liked. But this year I wasn't in the same class as them. I struggled to keep contact with them and because I felt we were drifting apart I didn't make enough effort to make me included. I them tried to invite myself once but got lied to saying there were too much people at the party because they didn't want the friend(not from the group) who was coming with me. We continued to drift apart and when I made the decision to make efforts again i learned that a girl in the group said things about me behind my back, and didn't want to come to hang outs if I were invited. Made me drift away even more because apparently she wasn't the only gossiping( it wasn't really mean things either) I talked to her about it but she try to make me the villain saying that she thought I wanted to hit her because of a ***, but it was posted after I learned what she was doing lol so she was lying. She didn't think she was excluding me. At this point I almost never saw my friends at school let alone outside of school. I invite them all to my birthday but they even make the effort to respond for the gift or to know if they were coming. My friends organising my birthday had to run after them. For the last hang out she did it again. I talked to my closest friend in the group, she first told me that they thought about it but some in the group said that they wouldnt come if i came. She then told me to get over it, (not in a mean way), that it was a long time since ive been with them, a lot from the group didnt even thought to invite me and she couldnt do anything about it because i dont talk to the other anymore. (Dont really agree with that i talk with at leat 5 person of the group and i invited them to my birthday but i see why she says that.)She also told me that I was progressively excluded from the hang outs. Now I'm not part of the group and it hurt me very much. I feel like I list meaningful connections and I like that group very much. I feel like if I did more efforts back then instead of waiting to be seen and invited it would be different. But at the same time I feel like I did some efforts (my birthday for exemple) and I absolutely hate running after people. But maybe my efforts were too late.
I also don't know if I'm crazy to think that the girl is really in cause of most of my drifting apart, she don't think she has anything to be sorry for, even though she participated in my exclusion and she hadn't any reason to say such things again