Losing friends and having no people *TW SA*

In December I dropped my old friend group because they left me alone at a bar and I got raped, I took my anger out on them. A few months later my best friend confessed she was in love with me, I didn’t share the same feelings it didn’t end well and now we no longer talk and I miss her so much. I have an amazing boyfriend but I feel like I have no people no friends because I don’t. I feel so alone and lonely and I just miss having people, I feel like I just don’t fit in with anyone. I no longer go out to bars and just like that I lost every other “friend” (you know those people you talk to but as soon as you stop drinking they don’t care to do anything else with you). I feel like there’s something wrong with me that makes me undesirable as a friend… I just don’t know what