My friends and I sorta had a fight.

I'm not even sure if this is the right thread for this sorta thing, and it is definitely lengthy, but for a little back story, my friend group was made in 2022, but around 2023 a member left (we'll just call them R) due to having conflicts with some members (more specifically members K and N). I'm not truly sure about what the conflicts were about because I heard 2 different stories from 2 different sides for ages, but I stayed friends with R, because we got along just fine in the groupchat, and we're getting along in private dms too.

Occasionally, someone from the group would ask "Hey digi why are you still friends with R after all they did?" and I've always found that question to be... a bit weird? because if I like R then why not be friends? They didn't do anything to me personally or speak bad about me, and it sucks that they talked about everyone else like that. But on Thursday things changed. They started talking about R again, and this time they were sorta demanding? Like "Oh you can't ignore this digi, tell us why you and R are still friends!" and I'm not saying that I felt attacked, but the tone of their messages felt very insulting, and I really don't wanna sound mean, but they were a-holes and they were pinning everything R did on me and that it was my fault that their public and private accounts got blocked by R. I just ended up asking them what they wanted, telling them that I do acknowledge what R did and said and that R was very mean to them and that I apologize for that (something I didn't even have to do), I even told them that R moved on and that it was their turn to move on as well, and N told me I "lost the plot". Honestly there was not even any plot to begin with, it was all just pointing fingers. Eventually M (another member) sent a long message, about being disappointed in me, and apologizing on behalf of everyone (even admitting that, and I quote "Digi, I do think we acted like a-holes to you. After rereading everything our anger looked like it made us go on the same level as the person we were calling out. For that I am very sorry.") and in M taking a break.

And it's been almost 4 days since a message was last sent and I don't know how to feel. I feel hurt and I feel ashamed, but I'm still processing my thoughts. None of them have interacted with me or any of my posts, but I think everyone is slowly getting back to normal. I don't think saying or doing things differently would've changed anything, but it's how it is. I wish I had the courage to tell them I'm sorry (honestly I don't even know what for I just feel the need to apologize to them). They were all a-holes, and so was I, but all of them have their own struggles (N lives in Ukraine close to the Russian border so imagine how that is, M is simply drained from everything, R's home life is awful [I think that's why they did the things they did {not defending them but it felt necessary to mention}] and the others I genuinely don't know) and I guess all the anger just accumulated and turned into this. And I don't blame them at all. I just wish things turned out differently.