This isn’t really a friendship, but I need advice on this (TW: Si & Sh)
I feel like I’m too obsessed with my old mentor. (Context: I was in an online mentorship program and I was in it for a couple months before I got my account deactivated for living in a state the app wasn’t available in). Anyway, after I got my account deactivated, I attempted ***. I also cry almost everytime I think about her. I just can’t do this anymore. She was the reason I didn’t attempt again in so long. And now she’s just gone. Yesterday, I did pm her on *** and she stated that she couldn’t talk to me outside the program. I didn’t talk to her again, I just said “Ok, that’s fine, sorry” and cried and c*t myself. I also requested to follow her in all the social media accounts she has with a fake name. I know I sound so creepy and obsessive, im sorry. I know I just need to move on, she did. But I can’t. Everything reminds me of her.
@Tired
Hi there. It’s not wrong to have feelings for someone but this does sound unhealthy. I’m sorry you’re going through this but limiting contact or even having no contact may be the only way to help you get through this.
Can I ask if you’ve shared to anyone about what you’re going through right now? Friend, family member perhaps.
Yeah I told my therapist
The last thing you need is to feel guilty about feeling connected to a person, Not just a program. Truly loving someone is healthy. I am so sorry that you lost Someone extraordinary. I can’t help, but wonder if she is also agonizing Due to the rules of the mentor program, Due to the loss of you, living in great fear Of breaking the state law and being deeply upset about that law. But knowing that there are terrible and irreversible destructive consequences to her life if she breaks that law. I bet she Thinks about you every single day, Talking to her friends About the injustice of losing Someone she Really connected with. What you felt wasn’t a program, It was somebody loving you who still does. If it was only the program, You would’ve felt coldness… She chose to love you. And even if you don’t hear from her for a long while, That means that you are SO lovable. That means that there are thousands of others Agonizing Hoping and praying Right now that someone like you exists And that somehow you will both take chances To persist Through many other cold and mediocre people along the way, Knowing that two gems finding each other may be closer than you think.
