Conspiracy
What's a fun or funny conspiracy theory we can start here?? Any ideas?
@genericbeing
Blackbirds gather together in big groups because____?
You don't see zeppelins anymore because_____?
Zebras got their stripes from_____?
The pyramids were created by_____?
@genericbeing the answer to all those are big foot
@Tinywhisper11 Not Tiny foot?
@genericbeing
Blackbirds gather together in big groups because they’re an extrovert breed.
You don't see zeppelins anymore because the leader of the zeppelins said “Catch the wind, see us spin, sail away, leave today, way up high in the sky, but the wind won’t blow so you really shouldn’t go.” (Led Zeppelin)
Zebras got their stripes because so many of them were incarcerated that over time it just became part of their DNA.
The pyramids were created by ancient Bigfoots.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas No, the pyramids were built by an alien insectoid race...whose leader was Jimmy Hoffa. He ain't dead, btw.
@slowdecline48 😂 Pyramids are a lot like giant ant hills.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas Exactly. You're on their trail now... We'll both have to be extra careful. You know they'll do anything to keep the truth hidden--including bumping us off. 👽👽👽 😬
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas I knew it, it was bigfoots😂😂😂😂
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas There always was a zebra crime problem in this city
@genericbeing 😂😂😂😂😂
@genericbeing is secretly in the Mafia ;)
@jesusredeemedme2425 Not anymore ;)
TIny is a space cowboy monkey ;)
@jesusredeemedme2425 I knew it! The facts were all staring me in the eye!
Taylor Swift & Napoleon Dynamite are actually the same person.
Think about it for a minute. Didn't they look so similar when Napoleon was in his big movie a few years ago?...Aside from the hair & glasses, they didn't appear too different. Also, when have you ever seen both of them in a public place at the same time? When?!
@slowdecline48 I think you're onto the truth
@genericbeing Oh s***...now I'll have to be real careful. This is the kind of info that got Kennedy k×lled. Gotta watch my back & make sure none of Swift's agents rig a fatal accident 😆
@slowdecline48 Worst part is - you can't outrun her, shes "Swift"
@genericbeing The worst thing that could happen...the most horrific fate of all....would be if we were kidnapped by Swift's thugs to her secret headquarters underneath the White House & forced to listen to her music. 😫🤮
@slowdecline48 True story
@slowdecline48 Forget the CIA and the Mossad, The Swifties are going to come after you. It's going to be a Swift decline.. Go and hide!
[cw: pol subject, unmusical violins]
Donald Trump is not in the White House, because he's dead.
The man portrayed as Trump in the news & on (anti)social media is actually one of several men with a physical resemblance to the real Trump, who died in the hospital from septic infection...it set in after the first assassination attempt that nicked his ear. Certain people in his administration (who make all the decisions) didn't want the news to spread, so they had the body cremated & hired several impersonators to make appearances. A comb-over wig & orange body spray are the finishing touches.
@slowdecline48 I heard a real one like that were Biden was actually a hologram and he never existed or died a while ago after being elected.
@genericbeing Oh god, that's hilarious.
@slowdecline48 Yeah there's even videos online of him appearing see-through, its weird
@genericbeing
Blackbirds gather together in big groups because they're uploading the collected data into the Bird Surveillance Network - They spy on humans for the government. The bigger the flock, the bigger the software update. If they circle around weirdly in the sky, that's just a buffering issue.
You don't see zeppelins anymore because they actually never stopped flying — they just learned how to camouflage as clouds. If you've ever looked up at the sky and thought, "That cloud looks a little... suspicious" — congratulations, you've spotted a Class 3 Zeppelin in stealth mode.
Zebras got their stripes from a top-secret government witness protection program for horses. Every zebra was once a horse who knew too much. The stripes? Just their way of giving them anonymity in the savanna.
The pyramids were created by ancient cats as giant litter boxes. Humans were just the contractors. That's why they sealed off the inside — no one wants to know what the Pharaoh's cat buried in there.
They've hidden the truth for centuries — but not anymore.
Humanity deserves to know!
Share this. Promote knowledge.
We need a 7-part YouTube documentary narrated by Werner Herzog on these topics.
The world must hear...
"What They Don't Want You to Zebra."
@azurePond I thought that zebra looked familiar, turned out it was Jerry-Two Hooves Lougazi an enforcer in the underground horse racing underworld
@genericbeing You think horse races are about speed? Nope. It’s a front. The real power lies with the Horse Mafia...the elite stallions running an underground syndicate, laundering hay money, and bribing jockeys with sugar cubes. Ever wonder why some horses "retire early"? (They are in the Savannah as Zebras..The ones who know too much) Illuminati? No... The real one is the Equinati.
@azurePond Its pretty wild to see a horse stick-up another horse with a carrot in the alleyway, but I've accept that this is the world we live in now
@genericbeing UMM.....WHAT!😭😭😭😂😂
@genericbeing Maybe I oughtta get my eyes checked. When I saw your reply, for an instant it looked like the first words included "a zebra with a carrot up his..." 😳 😆
@slowdecline48
@azurePond Oh my gosh, this is so freaking funny! Birds circle when they’re buffering. 😂 Sus zeppelin clouds. 😂 Zebra protection program. 😂 I can’t stop laughing.
What does this mean about bird flu? 😮
@genericbeing Okay, hear me out —
What if... pillows slowly absorb bits of our dreams every night, like squishy little memory banks? That's why you can never fully remember your dreams — your pillow is out here stealing them for research. The older the pillow, the more intelligent it becomes.
Why do you think old pillows feel heavier? It's not dust or moisture. It's compressed data.
The government is probably harvesting these pillows through "recycling programs" to decode our subconscious for... I don't know... product marketing or weather control or surveillance
Honestly, if you've ever woken up feeling like you had the best dream but can't remember a single detail — it's not your fault.
George Orwell was wrong about the Big Brother - It's actually the Big pillow. The Big Pillow is watching you and controlling your subconscious through dreams.🔥📄🧠
You should read Gossamer. <3 It’s about tiny beings that give us dreams <3
***TW about abuse in book***
@jesusredeemedme2425 *Adds to my TBR Pile * Thank you!
@azurePond I think this pillow theory is the best conspiracy on here, great work!
@genericbeing Thank you, Generic Being *bows *
@genericbeing
@azurePond If that's the case, then for a few weeks now the only "data" the fedgov has been getting from my pillows is itching, shifting & squirming movements, & eruptions of ∆ss-gas!...
@slowdecline48 Now you see why the government and international agencies launched the "Methane Pledge" to cut emissions by 2030. I told you all.....THEY ARE COLLECTING DATA!
Um...you realize we're all joking here, right? You're really getting into this conspiracy shtick 😂
@slowdecline48 You were all JOKING? I thought we were the Truth seekers😭.............
I'm just kidding—I don't believe in conspiracies, but I enjoy making things up when I'm bored.
@azurePond God, I love this thread... 😂