I wish I could tell everybody that...
I'm as strong as Kalesi (1), I have never stopped (2), I take big decitions(3), I have control of my life (4) .... although the first is something simbolic that I wish from a TV show, the second, is the evidence of my mistakes, the third is the actitude I'd like to have and the fourth is surreal.
I won't accept people to tell my why am I wrong or why I should do what they believe from life. I woul'd never tell any body my real intencions in life, why should I?, I just want you to know that my mother never worried about my feelings since she brought me to this city 20 yeas ago. I feel very lonely sometimes. .....Still want to change the world.
My mum is not as nice as what she seems.
Manage tensions, that's what I create every day.... it's awful
My new strategy : wait... , enjoy, think, ....try to trust :S ....specially wait for the moment and look for it in the silence. Don't try to think too much. Enjoy ! ... you're doing a great job !
That I'm not telling them about my Disorder for sympathy, but for simple understanding.
I think I have anxiety
I wish I could tell everyone to mind theirs and stop taking sides
that my weight doesn't matter
I am a million different people all in one and I want to be that openly.
I change all the time but every change is valid and don't stop taking me seriously just bc I change. It is bc I am constantly growing.
I am so angry at the christians who have judged and condemned me and I hate any teachings that lead to that kind of hatred.
I am smart. Just bc you don't see it doesn't mean I'm not. I have so much going on just trying to stay sane and heal from all I've gone through that I just don't have the time or energy to learn about everything. Neither do I have the time or energy to become a huge activist or to know every word out there that would prove me to be a good feminist or trans person. All I can deal with right now is what I am dealing with and I just don't have the energy for more. It doesn't make me dumb or air headed. I just can't talk to you about what is really in my mind bc it is too private. So please don't judge me when I laugh and act silly or whatever bc I am just trying to stay above water.
Im starting to wonder if I'm not really trans, but I'm afraid to say so bc I don't want people to see me as invalid.
