Alone need someone to talk to

Hi,

I don't know why but it's really hard for me to open up to people because in the end they always leave because I'm become too much for them. When I try to talk to people they say I'm making them feel bad or playing the victim, bt shouldn't someone who has been traumatized multiple times be able to be the victim? I'm trying to get through one day at a time without freaking out or remembering those horrible memories, Because Everytime I do it feels like I'm reliving it over and over again it just getting worse to the point where I remember even more horrible things that I blocked out.

I just want someone here that is willing to listen to me about everything, stuff that's bothering me, things that happened during the day, and those horrible things that happened. I need someone here to help pick me up when I'm down so I don't feel like I'm dragging myself through the day to just get by.