Desperate Need for some Advice, Please Help

I am a Sophomore at an incredible university. I have a great group of friends. Im in a fantastic and supportive sorority. My family is loving and caring. Yet I am struggling immensely with my anxiety and depression.

While this is a stereotypical story of college todays age, I keep going in circles. I cannot find anyone who can help me. Ive been to the counseling center, the deans office, and multiple therapists, but nothing seems to help.

I went through this all last semester and ended up in the hospital because of it. Ive cut in the past and I dont want to go back to that. I am not suicidal but Im extremely hopeless. I just dont know what to do anymore. And because I am not suicidal I feel like no one takes me seriously.

I love my school and the classes that I am taking but Its so difficult to succeed when all I want to do is sleep. I can hardly get out of bed to go to class and when I do I am so anxious that I have to leave because I feel so sick. I cant focus and I have already fallen very far behind in my classes. I also have no idea what I want my major to be which is stressing me out so much.

I am not sure what to do about school. I would feel extremely guilty if I were to drop out. But I have no idea what I want to major in or why I am even in college. I have spent so much money on this and it is just going down the drain. I want so bad to succeed in school but its like my brain wont allow me. Another issue is that i have made some amazing friends at school but if I were to drop out it would be extremely hard for me to stay in touch with them. I have never in my life had friends like this before and I am terrified of loosing them. And if i were to drop out there is no back up plan, I have no clue what I would do with my life.

I have a ton of people who are very supportive of me, but I am still so isolated. Even when I am surrounded by people who love and want to help me, I cant help feeling so alone. Everyone always tells me that they are here for me, but everyone has their own issues I dont want them to be bothered with mine as well.

Ive struggled finding someone to talk to. Ive tried therapists, group therapy, online-therapy messaging, and 7cupsoftea. I have never found someone who I can connect with or really can truly trust. I keep going in circles or getting referred to another person. I need someone to hold me accountable, and a structured form of talking. I often try really hard at getting help then I get in a low space and not respond. I need desperately need advice on how to deal with my anxiety both in school and socially. Any advice on what to so do with school or my family would be very helpful. And If any listeners think they could help I would love that and would greatly appreciate the help.

I have so much on my mind and I want to get it all out there but I feel like I am not getting my point across. I feel like i am not making any sense so I am sorry if this is confusing.

Thank you for taking your time to read this.

Katherine