I don't know what to do

So I read this saying once, that you know you love someone because you can't hate them for breaking your heart. My ex and I dated for 8 years; he was my best friend. I suppose the problem was that I was his too but that's all he wanted. We stayed together until he met this girl who he decided he was in love with. He decided that being with her was more important than me but he wanted to stay friends because we had been best friends for so long. And since that's all I was to him he didn't see why anything should change. I agreed to try because I didn't want to have to lose my boyfriend and best friend all at once. I'm a very solitary person and don't really have any close friends. There is a part of me that is his best friend and I want him to be happy even if it is with someone else. But there is another part that is so hurt and betrayed that I don't know if I can keep doing this. Losing him terrifys me but I don't know that I can ever be happy this way. I just don't know what to do, it's been almost a year and it still hurts just as much as the day he broke up with me. I don't know if this is how this classified thing is supposed to work. Maybe I've already shared too much, I just... Can't keep doing this alone.

Hey @PurplePapillon.

Haha - don't worry if you posted this in the wrong place or not. Either way - we're still here to support you. :)

I'm sorry to hear about what happened between you and your boyfriend, who was also your best friend. It sounds like you guys had dating for several years, but then he ended up finding someone else who he decided that he was in love with. It must be hard for you to detach from him now that he has someone else because he was someone you loved, and was also your best friend. You must've been really close with him. It also sounds like you feel betrayed, and really hurt. You want him to be happy, but at the same time - it makes you hurt that he's happy with someone else.

I apologize - but I'm not really familiar with topics like this, but I'll try giving some tips based off of what I know. So please do pardon me if I do give some information, that you may find to not be helpful.

First of all, I understand going through a breakup can be tough. It can weeks, months, or even a year before you get over a breakup. One thing about relationships is that you can learn from previous relationships. They also help you learn more about yourself. And it helps you prepare for other, future relationships. Talking to trusted adults, or friends may help with the healing process. But please remember that the healing process may take a while, and while it may seem like things may not get better - please give yourself some time. In the meantime, try doing things that you enjoy. This could be going skating, drawing, or singing. By doing activities like these, you can help get your mind off of your previous relationship. Maybe even write down your feelings. If it starts affecting your everyday life, maybe reaching out to your Doctor or a Therapist may be best.

Again, I'm sorry about what happened with you and your former boyfriend. It must've been really tough for you, and it probably is still tough for you.

Please take care.

:)