Just wish someone would understand :'(
What's wrong? I'll listen to you
Thank you so much
I hope you're doing alright. Have you tried connecting with a Listener 1-1 or chatted in one of the Group Support rooms? There are a great many people here who want to talk with you and support you. You're not alone, we're all waiting.
Thank you so much and i have tried but they all take days to respond :(
What's wrong? you can talk to me my dear :)
Thank you so much
Ill post it here so anyone can read it.
Baically my brother was involved in a fatal carcrash, however he wasnt the one that died. it was the car that my brother hit, this is cause a major stress as he has to go to court as they are deeming it as death by careless driving.
Also this makes me feel so guilty because he was taking m to my friends and he was on his way back home after taking me that it happen.
I blame myself for this mans death and i have to fight with myself every day to not self harm and every day at school it is so hard. i am in tears most night but none knows this because i hide it all and bottle it all up.
However when things get too hard ivestarted to scratch my hand and its now all cut from where i have scratched it so much and so is my arm. so im having to hid that on top of everything else.
I just dont know what to do anymore
I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. That is a very difficult thing to experience. Is there anyone you trust that you can talk to about this? A school counselor or a close friend maybe? I know how much harder things can be when you don't feel you can talk to anyone and you have to bottle things up. You said above that Listeners have been taking a long time to respond. Have you asked any Listeners if they could set up a time to have a live chat with you instead of having to wait for them to message back? I would gladly chat with you myself but I'm not a Teen Listener. If you still have trouble finding a Listener, I'd be happy to ask around and see if I can find someone who is able to listen to teens and who can chat more regularly. We only want you to feel heard and supported here.
I've got a student support manager at school which i speak to and on a waiting list to have councilling and no i havent, i will try that and okay thank you so much. it means so much to know people care
That's good, I hope counseling will be helpful to you. And you're welcome, I just hope you know that there is always support for you here.
I'm so sorry that this has happened to you my dear. No one deserves such cruel fate, but then it's here. We're here for you and you're not alone. We'll get you through this no matter what. I'll support you in many ways that I can.. Thank you so much for sharing this to us. Sharing laughters can multiply it, but sharing sadness can lessen your burden. I hope you'll be fine soon. I love you. :*
Pleaseletmehelpyou13,
It is understandable that you feel guilty because you may feel that if your brother had not provided the ride, for you and your friends, the accident would not have occurred. Understanding our role in life is at times difficult however it is not impossible.
While our actions do have consequences we do not have the luxury of hindsight moving forward until after the action is either committed to or has already occurred resulting in an action which was not foreseen. In simpler terms we can only base our current choices on what we know now, though it is possible to determine outcomes based on previous experiences.
So looking at the actions that occurred up to the point at which your brother dropped you and your friends off, there was no other action other than just that. The actions that occurred after that point were never within your control, even those that led up to the point in which you and your friends were dropped off. A good question to ask is would an accident occurred between the other driver and you brother regardless? There is no way to tell is there, but when we assume or take on responsibility for actions that were out of our control and which we have no means to predict with any certainty we find that our control is really limited to our own self.
This is not to say that we have no control what so ever because for every action we take now it creates an effect or ripple in the pond. I typing this reply I am taking an action that it is assumed will be of use to you the viewer though I have no way of knowing because there are so many variables to consider. In my lifetime I have reviewed many actions that occurred and have myself taken on sole responsibility but I find that no matter what scenario I replay in my mind there was never truly anything I had control over. So the accident which occurred may have been due to variables, other actions and conditions to which no one had any control over.
I know it is difficult to not feel guilty because you feel that your needs were selfish possibly, but this is not the case. To put it differently would it have made a difference if you took a city bus, taxi or train to your destination, if an accident occurred after you were dropped off at your destination is this your fault? The answer is no and again this is due to the limited control any one of us have over the variables that are present at any given time.
I hope this has helped in some way, hopefully to give you perspective on the events which occurred in that they are not a result of you exclusively but rather they are a result of accumulating variables.
v/r
EIB94
EIB94 is right there is a limit to what we can control, only God knows what the other driver was doing before the accident, you couldnt have controlled his actions. i pray you find the peace you need, this was not your fault or in your power to control. take care
