Looking for advice.
I'm very unhappy in my married and good friends of mine say I am being abused emotionally and being controlled. While I wouldn't go that far I am very unhappy and extremely stressed. I feel as though I'm a single parent who just happens to be married. He still sleeps with his ex wife whenever he feels like it because we agreed to an open marriage. I have not been allowed that kind of "time" though. My husband is very happy with how things are right now but I've never been really been happy though I did love him. I no longer feel love towards my husband but I don't want to hurt him either. I feel my marriage is killing me emotionally and physically. How do I bring up my desire to get out and bring my health and heart back to how it should be? I should add I'm not leaving my husband for someone else and I will be taking our kids with me.
@MommaBear90
Regardless of what name people define your relationship, you seem to be hurting. Someone who cares for you should notice; sadly some people are not that perceptive. What do you think might happen if you let your partner know what was upsetting you? I respect the fact that you don't want to cause in pain-- that is quite commendable. Perhaps rather than talking with him, write a letter (neither blaming him nor yourself). Leaving a letter allows you to really think about what you want to say without being interrupted and it gives him the opportunity to 'digest' the information without feeling confronted.
Only you can answer this. If things were to change, would you want to stay? Do you think enough is able to change so you can have the well deserved happiness we all deserve?
Be brave!
@JeffWM
I have talked to him about how I feel and how he treats me. He doesn't see why I have an issue and doesn't see a problem at all other than I need to be more receptive to how HE shows he cares. He doesn't understand why I get so hurt when he says things just to hurt me. Or when he ignores me and leaves me to do all the work while he games. Talking and telling him this for 6+ years and while things got better the last 3 years it hasn't changed in any significant way other than he doesn't yell often anymore.
@MommaBear90
hello, :)
it take lots of courage reaching out for help and to seek advice. Congratulations!
At the end of the day no matter what others say you have to do what gives you peace of mind and happiness.
I have couple of questions for you. What is keeping in your marriage at this time? Are you financially independent? When you agreed to have open marriage, what did it meant to you? What are you expections from him?
@MommaBear90
Well, you can insist that he attend. That is a difficult ultimatum to make. Again, I wish I had something smart to say. Perhaps, if he won't go with you, you might want to consider going on your own.