Need Someone Extra Special Long Term

Must be extra-special because I'll probably be high maintenance due to having so many issues. I started to list them all, but it would make this post extremely and way, WAY too long. Moreso than it already is. 🙄

Suffice it to say I'm BPD, have Major Depressive Disorder, (both diagnosed by doctors) but I think I have some Paranoid Personality Disorder mixed in there as well.

I just have a LOT of issues, fair warning.

BUT... I'm also extremely thoughtful, caring, helpful, bright, non-judgemental, open-minded, organized, and especially loyal.

What I think I need is:

Someone who would not just listen, but know what to ask to help me gain clarity. Someone who will have a discussion with me, not just listen to me ramble, or vent, but let me do those two things when I need to. Someone intuitive, who could catch when I'm overthinking and bring me back to reality. Someone EXTREMELY non-judgemental and understanding. Someone who would really CARE. Someone supportive. Someone patient. Someone who will commit their time and energy to me long term, and at minimum multiple times per week. This doesn't necessarily mean 1-1 discourse. Could include my sending messages when I feel I need to, and you replying in a reasonable time frame (which would be dependent on what my message said.) 😁

Someone, preferably, who's had positive experiences in alternative sexual lifestyles, too, such as swinging. Because I have a lot of confusion and questions about that. Someone older, (preferably 50+ but that's not a requirement). Someone who was born, and still is, (and wants to be) female. No offense or insult intended towards anyone. Just I think that's the only type of person that could even come close to truly understanding the majority of what I'm dealing with.

Finally, and hopefully, someone who could maybe even become my friend.

I know I'm asking a lot, which is why I specify that I need someone extra-special.

Is there ANYone here that meets all my criteria, or what I think should be my criteria? Even if you don't, but come close, please contact me, because I REALLY need someone to talk with.

I have NO one, and I need SOMEone.

Please.

And thanks for reading this far... 🌹

🐻

PS: Please don't suggest a therapist, because I can't afford ANYTHING right now, and doubt I'll be able to any time soon, not even in the distant future...if EVER. 🥺