Advice working thru trauma
When my mom left when I was in the 7th grade, in the beginning I thought she would come back but had a weird feeling it also might be the last time I’ll see her. She moved back to her home country because she was fighting with my dad a lot and my grandparents would also fight a lot with her. My grandparents assured me that it was a good thing that she left but it was always hard to understand why she decided a different life was better than staying with her kids. I was still supported by my grandparents yet there was always parental disconnect because I knew they weren’t my biological parents. As I grew older my mom wanted to come back and regretted her decision but at that point we wanted nothing to do with her anymore. My grandparents gave us love the best they could but I always felt like there was something missing. I think that’s why I felt drawn to relationships where the person I was attracted to wanted nothing serious with me. That realization is why I left my last relationship. I just crave a loving relationship to fill in the void left by my parents. My dad struggled with substance abuse my entire life, I saw him go in and out of rehab centers and end up passing away due to a heart attack in our home. This happened last year.
With everything I’ve been realizing about my childhood and how it’s affected me I’m still trying to figure out how I can heal and bring healthy love back into my life. I’ve been working on my relationship with my grandparents first, strengthening a deeper bond and relationship with them and it’s been a fulfilling process. But I still feel like something’s missing. And I still feel a tension of the past weighing down on me.
I can feel the pain in your words. It's incredibly tough to go through such significant losses and challenges, especially at a young age. It's understandable to feel a void and long for genuine connection.
It's admirable that you're working on your relationship with your grandparents. Building strong bonds with those who love and support you is a significant step towards healing. However, it's also important to acknowledge that this doesn't entirely fill the void left by your parents.
Your experiences have shaped you, and it's okay to feel the impact they've had. Healing is a journey, not a destination. It's okay to take your time, be patient with yourself, and seek support when needed.
Perhaps consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, gain insights, and develop coping strategies. Or you can text me if you feel you need a listener instead of a therapist.
Remember, you're not alone in this. Many people have gone through similar experiences, and there's hope for healing and finding fulfilling relationships.
@willingPine3814