Am I who I say I am??
TW - Identity issues, mentions of personality disorders and trauma
Ive always had a few issues with myself, mainly in the forms of phrases such as “Why am I like this? Why am I struggling with something so trivial? Why am I overthinking so much?” etc etc…
And recently, a lot of suggestions have been popping up. A lot of friends suggest that I might have autism. I was unsure of this at first, but it started to feel like a possibility when I kept asking about it and looking through media posts describing autism. I took the RAADS-R test, a self-report questionnaire, and scored 171 overall. The test says if the overall score is 65 or over, autism is likely.
But I tend if overthink, and I worry that I’m just leaning into the self-diagnosis as an excuse or that it could be something else such as bpd, and things like my trauma isn’t actually trauma and I’ve just been gaslighting and manipulating everyone about this lie of a life I have been living, and manipulating myself into believing these lies.
A lot of my current issues stem from my overthinking, but I can’t figure out what is a serious thought/question about myself I might be having, or if it’s just another anxious thought getting in the way.
At the end of the day, I just don’t know what to do.
@jayDinocals
It sounds like you are going through a difficult time and experiencing a lot of confusion and self-doubt regarding your identity and possible diagnosis.
The first step in finding answers is to seek professional help. Consider reaching out to a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or therapist, for an evaluation and to get an accurate diagnosis. They can also help you work through your trauma and provide you with coping strategies for managing your overthinking.
It's also important to remember that self-diagnosis, while it can provide some insights, is not a substitute for a professional evaluation. There may be underlying factors contributing to your symptoms, and only a mental health professional can diagnose you with a specific condition.
Remember, it's okay to ask for help, and taking care of your mental health is a priority. You deserve support and understanding, and I hope that seeking professional help will provide you with the answers and guidance you are looking for.