An Even Keel
It's probably not the best title but titles have never exactly been my strong point. I have been having difficulty at work. Things I've said have been taken out of context and now I have to report once a week to management and chat with them. I actually got lectured this past week over how I handled my court duty. I took a vacation day and explained my reasons why which weren't read when the vacation day was approved. And then management forgot about my vacation day. Then HR got involved because they claimed I was a no call no show and it just went downhill from there. The gist of the entire lecture was to inform management beforehand in the future. It would have helped if such procedures were laid out to begin with so that if and when people needed an example or had a question, there was something to review.
But no, I'm at fault. Then a comment I made about not speaking was brought up and management raised concern about that. This is the catch-22 I'm in. I got in trouble for speaking and now they want me to talk but they also don't want me to talk. I also don't want to talk because apparently no matter what I say is heard, taken down, and then brought up later out of context and spun the way management wants it spun. And, as far as I know, I'm the only one they do it to. Like, I get talked to about my conversations yet there are at least four people who talk way more than I do and on subjects not suited for the office but they don't get in trouble. I also can't go to HR over this because I tried (against my better judgement) and just made things worse.
I just want to stick with the job until I take advantage of a few discounted courses the company is offering so that I can be more suited for other career opportunities but it's hard. I don't know if anyone else has had to deal with something like this. If so, how do you manage? How do you manage to stay on an even keel when you're constantly bombarded by the winds of contradiction, pettiness, and cross-purpose on all sides?
@Enthenia Hi. A trick I learned was to write it down on a sticky note - expect contradiction and pettiness, and read it before you interact with these people. That way you’re less likely to “react” when they do. It will remind you that you see it, you are prepared for it, and that you will get through, get what you need, and then get out. Won’t it feel good when you can push the eject button for good and watch them all fly away into petty purgatory where they will spend the rest of their little fruitless petty lives. Ahahahahahahahahaha! Sorry, I got a little carried away.
@helpfulAvocado7912
I think doing the court duty really helped and I just have to try and keep that mindset at work. Keeping everything impartial I mean and of course, not reacting to anything (which is partially how I got in this situation to begin with). I don't exactly want to be oblivious to what's going on about me but I definitely want to lessen my chances at getting called out for anything since the classes I'm looking at will take a few months.
And, interestingly enough, that was one of the other things that was said against me. That I was unable to "see the big picture" and inflexible but whatever. I do not feel compelled in the least to try and get them to change their perception about me. I just want to keep the waters calm until I can leave on my own accord.
@Enthenia
When in that kind of situation, I've found it helpful to refer and defer to the company policy manual. If you go strictly by that and what it says, it becomes much harder to be caught in the middle. Documenting everything, no matter how small or inconsequential it might seem, has proved to be a huge win for me in many instances. When things just don't feel right and I can't see a reason why, I start watching my back.
@kayleebee
Unfortunately I seem to be in the place where management always ends up being the winner. Some of the things I had said in the past that had been taken out of context were construed as me going against management and their decisions. In the first of these weekly meetings, I was basically told that I had no place to say anything because I hadn't been with the company that long and I should never question the leads because they have way more experience than me. They got their position based on experience which is debatable.
Now while they may or may not have more experience than me many of them also speak way more than I do about things that aren't even remotely connected to work. I tried to subtly bring that subject up once or twice and I got a "we'll look in to it" but they don't.
But, I have a list of courses that I want to take when I can afford them. In two weeks, most likely. I want to take some of the "leader" courses not because I want to be a leader (because I don't think I can) but I want to learn how things "should" be done that way I will be better equipped for my next job. I also want some technical courses as well. There's a couple of software programs that would help me in the long run I think.
@Enthenia
Yes it sounds like you've got a hard way to go there. Once you get tagged as a "problem" it's very hard to get that glue off. I've ridden out time at a less than ideal job in order to take classes and usually found it beneficial. I hope it works for you and you find something better soon.
@kayleebee
The interesting thing is tomorrow I have to show one of the newer people how we approve wire transfers. Not in a position to refuse anything and I'm the only one who shows up at the office (the majority of the others work from home) but now I'm a little worried. I don't mind showing someone else how to do something but I'm concerned about the reason why I'm showing someone how to do something. Could it be because I will have no position after my monitoring period ends? Or could it just be because they want an extra person to have the knowledge just in case both of the people who knows how to do it are out sick or something?
There's plenty of "We should" comments like "we should have a meeting" or "we should have everyone know how to to wires" or things like that but then nothing is actually done. That's one of the more frustrating things about the situation. But of course, I'm not supposed to know anything. Yet I'm expecting to show someone how to do something tomorrow.
Is it any wonder I've become skeptical of the entire thing?
Sounds like there's no real leadership there. That's a problem not readily solved and not one you can influence either way. It really sucks to be stuck in your position and I'm sorry it's like that there. I completely understand your worry over their motivation to train someone else. Since they're having you train someone else, I'd say you have a good argument if anything else comes back out of this monitoring plan. But those are just my thoughts and unless you can take it higher up the chain, I think your plan to move on is an excellent one.
@kayleebee
And that's the problem. I did bring it up to HR in the beginning and that just made things worse. I'm not going down that avenue again.
At this point, I'll be glad to make it until the end of the year. Yes I did things incorrectly but it's not all on me. Unfortunately, I'm a mere employee who has no rights or a voice whatsoever as it's been shown to me in these past few weeks.
@Enthenia
Most employees don't realize that HR is there to protect the company's interests, not those of the employees. It's unfortunate, but true.
@kayleebee Well the girl who trained with me today told management that I was quite informative and she learned a lot. Not sure it will help my case any or not. I still plan to sign up for one of the discounted courses next week. It won't hurt me any.
@Enthenia
That's great! I'm so glad you got positive feedback out of it. I agree, take the courses. It can only help.
@kayleebee
Thanks! I think things will be fine if I stay below deck but I'm still going to keep my options open.
I noticed one of the leads was talking to the receptionist when I went to lunch today and was still talking to the receptionist some fifteen minutes later. I eat then do a language app on my phone in the lobby. I just love the contradictions where I work. I get in trouble for talking and talking too long yet others can talk all day long and don't even get chastised for it.
That's what annoys me the most. I don't mind the work; I just don't like how things are run and since I didn't come from a subsidiary of the company like most of the others in my department, I've got absolutely no right to say anything. At least, that's what my impression has become.
@Enthenia
From where I'm standing, I think the best option is divorce. I can tell that you love your daughter very much, and I assume your wife does too, which means the most important thing from all of this is her. Because of how different your life goals are, a divorce will stop your daughter from suffering from arguments and seeing her parents hurt each other. I think you should try negotiating with your wife about the actual divorce and how often you get to see your daughter. I know it will be painful, unable to see her as much as you used to, but I think it is the best option for her to have a welcoming home. However, it could also work out if you two somehow find a compromise, sort of meet in the middle, so that something as drastic as a divorce will remain unneeded. These are some of my thoughts but I believe whatever choice you make will be the best one.
@AidenorQiangde I think you may have gotten the wrong post. This is about work issues, not family.
So today I had my meeting. They thanked me for showing the girl how to do wires (I didn't really have a choice) and they (management) feels confident that my path has been corrected but they are also concerned because I seem to favor people from another department over my own.
I do say hi to people in my own department. It's just I do it before management gets in. I get to the office at six and there are already a few there before me. I don't actually start until half past seven but I use my spare time to do a language app on my phone. I sit in the reception area and do it until it's time to clock in. Then I get right in to work.
I actually don't see the people from the other department all that much. Just when I go to lunch or come back. But I guess now I have to alter my route going to and from lunch. I'm not a talker really and I don't have much to say to anyone else in my department. I tried to strike up a conversation with the guy who works on the other side of me but it didn't turn out so well. I also don't want to say the wrong thing to someone and get in trouble again.
I guess all I can do is be completely detached and removed when I go in to the office. But that will probably end up being the wrong thing to do as well. I just want to hold on until I can get the courses I want to take. I'm leaning more towards something data related although that would be hard on my eyes. At least data seems to be easier to sort through and deal with than people.