Anger issues
Hi. I struggle a lot mentally right now. So many things on my life are falling apart and I feel so unsupported by my family. As a result to all this continuous stress (that I have for already more than a year) I developed anger issues. I sometimes just burn with rage and in these moments I can't think straight. I just want to destroy everything I see and I have already broken my phone earlier this year because I threw it across the room. I also broke a lot of my stuff due to my anger. Sometimes when I am really really angry I self harm. It's the only thing that helps with this mental aging that comes when I feel this rage. I have no idea what to do. I am becoming a monster! I don't recognize myself. I used to be kind and caring and now I am a bitter,hurt and angry person ready to lash out on everyone. I just want to cry so badly right now. I feel like I am a horrible human being that does not deserve to be loved. The proof I have no one! No one even cares about me! Except for my uncle. He is amazing and I am literally blessed to have him. He's trying to listen to me and understand what I am going through the best he can but talking to him is not enough unfortunately. I had so many bad experiences with therapists that I don't even wanna try it anymore. To be honest broken expectations hurt even more so I will try to do something on my own. But I am feeling so much mental pain. I never thought it would be possible to feel this way. It's horrible. I'm so done with this. I just want to be happy and joyful and live a good and fulfilling life. I am so tired of this pain. I just wanted to know if any of you is going through the same thing right now. I just feel so alone. It hurts so bad.
@23helicopters gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤squeezes you tightly ❤❤ we care about you here, I don't actually feel much anger, and to be honest anger in people is my biggest fear. I understand you don't want to go to therapy. But have you talked to your doctor about any medication that can help you? I'm not sure what to say, but please find a way to safely release your anger. And your not alone many people here are ready to help you ❤
Awww thank you❤️. You made my day❤️❤️
Yes I am going to talk about it with my GP. Hope he will help me to find a solution. Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it ❤️
I know exactly how you feel. For me personally i feel this way because the people who i expected to show care n love towards me dont. I feel neglected and like theres a missing part of me, that only they can fulfil.
Deep down i know the truth i should look within and work on my own insecurities and fears first, obviously thats the hardest part. So we often end up blaming the outside world. Ive smashed my phone too a few weeks ago. Ive done things out of anger i never knew i would do. Its scary. But this is what happens when we give people too much power, especially people who dont try to genuinly understand us. Instead they get defensive when we open up.
Id say its a matter of approach as well. Taking a calm polite approach, when asking for what you want out of someone- whether it be more attention, touch, affection ect.
Because when we ask for it angrily it often pushes them away. Yet again we're sat there thinking they should already know what we want. The truth is they dont, everyone lives in their own world mentally.
And most people have different attatchment styles.
Thank you so much for answering.
It feels great to know I'm not alone.
It's so true! I should definitely work on my insecurities and self love but it's so hard. I've always attached so much importance to what people think. Now I'm trying to change it but it's all so new.
It's also hard to do it on your own but I'm gonna try to find some good self help books. I'm already reading so many psychology articles in my free time😂 to try and understand what's going on with me.
It's interesting to see how much your upbringing can affect you and mine certainly did a lot of damage and now I have to undo all of this. That's what also makes me mad because I have to work on the hurt I didn't deserve and it wasn't my fault. But well, everyone has its own struggles and past hurts.
Thank you so much,once again, for your reply. It was very insightful.
I wish you all the best❤️