(Article) Parents Who Lost A Child Share The Most Helpful Things People Did For Them
Sharing Memories
“In the year since my daughter died, friends have shared with me pictures or videos that they have of her,” said Jessica Fein, whose daughter, Dalia, died of a rare mitochondrial disease in 2022. “There is no greater gift I could receive. I will never get to take any more pictures or videos, so getting a new one almost feels like making a new memory of her.”
Helping With Logistics
“On a practical level, I found that during the first few months, offers of help with cooking, shopping, paying bills, dealing with paperwork, phone calls, and so on, were extraordinarily helpful,” said Katja Faber, whose son Alex was killed in 2014.
Letting Them Cry
“I had a couple of good friends who just allowed me to cry with them, let me break down and just cry,” Lehman Riley said of the period after his daughter Lizzy died in 2020.
Giving Permission To Skip Things
“One friend, a few weeks after Noah died, told me something when I feeling pressure to go to a social event,” Landis recalled. “She said, ‘You get a pass for the rest of your life. That’s how hard this must be. And for anyone that doesn’t understand, too bad.’ Her giving me that dispensation is something that I draw on when I still feel pressure to attend someone else’s life event or milestone that triggers me.”
Just Being There For Support
“After Randy died, my sister came over after the funeral every single day for a month, and she sat in my living room and crocheted or read,” Bartelt said. “She didn’t put pressure on me to find something for her to do. All she did was come over and sit in the house. It was a comfort because I knew if I needed something, she was going to be right there ― somebody to talk to or run to the store or help with something. She was just there without any expectations.”
Continuing To Check In, Especially Around Milestones
“It was those who stayed the course ― checked in weeks and months later, answered late-night phone calls, listened to me when I needed to talk ― who touched me deeply,” said Casey Mulligan Walsh, whose son Eric died in a car crash in 1999.
Connecting Them With Other Bereaved Parents
“None of my friends had lost children, so I felt very isolated in my loss,” said Kimberly Schlau, whose daughters Kelli and Jessica died in 2007. “I remember when a woman, Candy Priano, called me and told me her story ― her daughter was killed during a police pursuit. I remember saying to her, ‘You are a lifeline! I’ve felt so alone!’ Finally finding someone who not only knew the feeling of losing a child but also in similar circumstances made me feel less alone in my loss.”
Listening
“It’s so simple, but when people gathered and just listened, that really helped us cope,” said Dolores Cruz, whose son Eric died in a car accident in 2017.
Read the complete article available at Huffington Post!
Reflection:
What do you find most helpful?
#Grief #ChildLoss #Coping
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@comfortableNight4463
Thank you for sharing this article. Hugs to all those struggling right now 💛
