Being in shelf seems safe

Who dont like human connection. Laugh. Talk. Care. 

But no idea what I do wrong or what I am always lend up .. in pain. 

No idea how normal day be worst. 

Unexpected un sudden things come up or happen. 

Seriously I am exhausted. 

Drained.. 

I don't want like the pain. 

I don't like to feel little all time. 

I don't want to be upset with myself or life. 

I just want normal day. 

Thn being in shelf become safe place. 

Like coming here n just writing thoughts. 

Or talk to listener. 

Wish for magic.. lol 

Or time being get some source.. like for month atleast. Where I don't have to worry of disappointing .. upset. Or insecure.. it just be receiver of love attention pampering..I know it not possible such things. At the end we r human nothing remain same next day also. 

Tired actually.. playing different role n responsibility n worry. 

It just venting.. not looking any advice or suggestion.