Chronic Self-Blame, Academic Regret, and Family Scapegoating

Hi there;

I am struggling with intense self-blame and regret regarding my 2020 Baccalaureate exams. I feel that I didn't put in enough effort despite having the potential, which has led to my current state of unemployment. This pain is amplified as I watch my sister pursue my dream specialization, which is a constant reminder of my perceived failure.

Beyond academic regret, I am trapped in a dysfunctional family dynamic. My mother constantly compares me to my sister, showing open favoritism. During our conflicts, she manipulates and incites other family members to boycott me and stop speaking to me. I am being treated as the family scapegoat; while my sister is never held accountable for serious mistakes, I am harshly criticized or ignored whenever I try to express my pain or seek emotional support. I feel deeply isolated, unheard, and emotionally exhausted.