Depression

Hi. I wanted to share this because it has been bothering me for a while. When I am depressed I just can't eat. I'm usually skipping meals too. It's been 3 or 4 days since I've eaten properly. I lost so much weight and am so skinny. It's so hard to find a therapist here where I live and expensive too. It happened several times already and once I haven't eaten for 3 days in a row. Right now I'm just crying and I've been crying the whole morning. My eyes are all so red and swollen. I just can't stop my tears. I don't know what to do because food is important and it's bad to stop eating but I just can't bring myself to eat a whole meal. I'm so lost and i wish something good would happen to me at least for once. I don't understand why some people have a better life and are much better off than me. I have done nothing wrong to deserve it and it feels like everyone abandoned me. I just hate myself so much.