Ended a friendship due to my mental health
Today I ended a friendship due to my mental health. I just need to say it somewhere to feel better about it. I ended this one year and a half friendship today because I felt it was going nowhere. It was hurting me to not be able to talk to her normally. I struggle with severe depression and anxiety and our conversations were so chaotic because I wasn't able to answer right away and I ghosted her a lot. She was such a nice person and always asking me how I was doing but it was making me mad more than anything. I was always telling her I felt bad (because it's the truth) and it was always kinda the same convo: asking how I am doing and then asking me why am I feeling bad and that's it. It's so tiring to me to do everything due to depression so I have no energy for a friendship at all. So that's why I decided to end it. I feel kinda sad about it but well I'm too sick anyways to maintain this friendship. I really want to be alone right now. Or meet new people who don't know me and with whom I can start over...
My life is such a mess right now. I hope I'm not gonna regret this decision later. I technically wish we were never friends because now it just hurts. I need to go to therapy and focus on myself. That seems like a better option. Maybe I will be able to reconnect with her later. I don't know. But now I have to focus on healing.
I don't know how some people with depression maintain friendships or relationships. To me it seems impossible to go through the day with my dark thoughts. I cry almost every single day and self harm a lot. So yeah I definitely can't keep any friendships right now.
@23helicopters Hello, thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts about ending your friendship. It's clear that you've been dealing with a lot, especially with your severe depression and anxiety. Taking steps to prioritize your mental health is essential, and sometimes that includes making difficult decisions like the one you made today.
It's understandable that maintaining a friendship can be challenging when you're struggling with these conditions. The constant cycle of explaining how you feel and not having the energy to engage can become exhausting. It's important to remember that it's okay to put yourself first when it comes to your well-being.
Ending a friendship doesn't have to mean it's forever. Sometimes, it's necessary to take a break to focus on your own healing and self-care. As you mentioned, therapy and self-focus can be great steps to work on your mental health. In the future, if you both feel it's right, you might be able to reconnect with your friend under different circumstances.
Depression can indeed make daily life challenging, and it may seem impossible to maintain friendships or relationships. However, remember that healing is a process, and there will be better days ahead. Surrounding yourself with a support system that understands and respects your needs can make a significant difference in your journey toward recovery.
Take each day one step at a time, and don't hesitate to seek professional help and lean on any available support networks. You're not alone in this, and there is hope for brighter days ahead. Your well-being is the most important thing right now.
Take care of yourself and focus on your healing journey. If you ever want to talk or need support, we're here for you.
