Enjoying life after your decisions for divorce
When will I be able to enjoy the things I used to love without it triggering thoughts of regrets of my divorce? There are so many things that link to him that I used to love to enjoy and now I can’t enjoy those things without it triggering “what if” thoughts. I’m the one who initiated the divorce and it was honestly so sudden and unexpected. Any advice? How do I work through those triggers.
Even when you're the one who made the decision, it doesn’t mean it’s easy or that you don’t have moments of doubt. Grief over what could have been is still grief. When the “what ifs” come up, remind yourself that you made the best decision with the knowledge and emotions you had at the time. Instead of “What if I stayed?” try “What if I’m on my way to something even better?” Healing isn’t linear, and you won’t always feel stuck in these thoughts. You’ll get to a place where you can enjoy life again without the shadow of the past looming over you. It just takes time and patience with yourself.
It’s completely normal for familiar activities to trigger emotions after a big change like divorce. Instead of avoiding them, try approaching them with curiosity. When memories or "what if" thoughts arise, acknowledge them without judgment and remind yourself why you made your decision.
Creating new associations—like enjoying these activities in a fresh way or with different people—can help reclaim them as yours. Healing takes time, but you will find joy again. Be patient and kind to yourself.