Frusterating experiences on this app at times.

I have ADHD so I can end up saying a lot at once—I’m not great at waiting for a response & I have a bad memory—so I’ll usually dump it all out at once. Last night, I wanted to rant about relationship issues (I don’t open up with anybody in real life about them) and ended up spamming (again—ADHD—it’s just how I text & I have ADHD friends who text this way as well). So, at this point I’m used to Listeners just avoiding my messages or using AI responses, but this guy goes and makes a rude response.

I tried leaving a review but he blocked me for being “aggressive behavior” or whatever. I was extremely upset already and sobbing when I got on this app to talk with someone, so I got upset at my Listener and said "My boyfriend already called me a (swear) today. Maybe I should just be quiet then right.”

I had an extremely emotional night last night. I went out to a concert with my boyfriend & his friend, and my sister. I rarely see my sister so I gave her most of my attention, & she gave me an earbud to put in. My bf was trying to talk to me, I guess, but I had the earbud in my good ear, so I couldn’t hear him. Then he got upset at that and the fact that I forgot my credit card and couldn’t split a $20 pizza with him (a pizza I didn’t even like and he wanted me to pay for, I had less than a slice of it and went to bed hungry). So while him & his friend are eating, me and my sister left to go to dollar store and he texts me “What’s up with you rn?” ugh.

Me & her got what we needed at the store and went to the concert, he was already there so I called him over to pay for my ticket (like he always does because I don’t have a debit card, I can’t pull out cash) and he asks “do you guys have money?” I’m a little surprised because he knows I don’t, and I felt like a beggar at that point even though all I said was “…noooo, I thought you were paying for me?” So I go and actually enjoy the concert with my sister while he plays ping pong & Mortal Kombat, and the entire time I’m wondering why he had an attitude with me all night, and why he paid to go if he’s just gonna play games.

He finally leaves the front area to come see the music, finds me, and asks why I’m way in the back with my sister. I say “because she’s my sister, I wanna stay with her,” and he says “why are you babysitting” and I just stare cause it isn’t babysitting. He’s called her annoying right next to her before, and constantly makes fun of how much we talk, so I was getting pretty aggravated at his low blows, throwing his hands, huffing & puffing, and him being short with his words.

The first set ended after an hour (he watched less than 5 minutes of it) and me and my sister went to find him because he’d left the building. He was sitting on a staircase on the side of the building and immediately, him and his friends stopped talking. I felt really awkward, I didn’t even look at them, I wondered if I did something wrong. I didn’t think, I still don’t think, that I did anything wrong. I forgot who, but someone asked to leave, my sister agreed, and I said sure.

I was really excited for that concert, it was like 3 days after my birthday and one of my favorites, so I thought of it as a punk birthday. But we drop my sister off, bf & and I get home, and the irritation has been building in me all night. I was pretty lowkey about it at the concert but I immediately asked “so why were you so annoyed with me?” and he denies it. Then I list every time he was obviously annoyed at me, and he says I ignored him for my sister. I forgot what I said, something about never seeing my sister, and he goes “even my friend thought you were a (male appendage).” I immediately run outside and start crying over it.

I reentered the house, took off my makeup, got in bed, and did some homework. I asked to watch a movie and cuddle, because he was playing games, and I wanted to talk. I asked if he thought I was a (male appendage (M.A) and he said no, I asked if he agreed with his friend and he said no, I asked if he defended me and he said no. I never let my friend insult him, I’ve known her for almost a decade and her and I got into a pissing match over her insulting him (he insulted her first, and so she ranted to me about how she felt, and I asked her not to speak about him like that).

He wasn’t really talking much, just watching the movie. When he says stuff like this, I get really, really self-hating. He’s called me self-absorbed, condescending, childish, and now a M.A. It’s easy to hate myself when my boyfriend is putting me down like this. I said something like “it’s hard to talk to you, nothing I say to you even matters”

He turns off the movie, rolls over to hold me, and it seems like we’re actually going to talk about what happened & how I feel. I reiterated how I felt, and rather than comfort me, he tells me I ignored him, I was kind of an M.A, & he doesn’t like my sister—then says I pressure him to do things all the time and I ask, like “what?” He says using the bathroom together (he has RATS in his bathroom that literally chill under his sink and I’m scared) and make me food (his grandma is a belligerant racist and screams at me + accuses me of vandalism, theft, and lying—so obviously I’m not comfortable in his kitchen) and I start sobbing. I didn’t know this bothered him.

I end up yelling at him and I regret it. It just felt like he was putting me down through out the night, then when we got home it only got worse. Then my Listener is a total d-bag, my boyfriend acts like a total d-bag, and I feel more alone than ever.