I don’t know what to do

I am self-diagnosed with autism. If you meet me, you’ll know why. But, I’ve been masking a lot, and I really don’t want to. Looking back on my childhood, there are SOOOO many signs of Autism. I remember being scolded for not showing empathy, so I would stare in a mirror and practice facial expressions. I got overwhelmed by sensory stuff so easily. It was hard for me to pick up on social cues. Yet here I am today, seemingly normal. But, I act different around every single person. Why? Because I copy their actions and expressions to fit in. I brought it up to my mom one time, I told her I’m autistic, and she thought I was joking. She got mad at me and told me not to joke about stuff like that, but it wasn’t a joke. Not even close to one. I just wish I felt seen. I can’t be myself with anyone and I’m so tired of it.