I feel lonely

I feel hopeless. I have no friends. I like literature and art-house films. I believe in the statement that you are what media you consume. The media I don’t consume is what most peers consume (like sports or games). I am a 14 year old boy. I don’t even listen to HipHop or play any type of sport. Though I would like to play a sport, I just have this feeling that I can’t because it seems that everyone else started when they were kids and I’ll just embarrass myself, being the clumsy guy I am. I know there are many like minded people like me but I hate myself for having my mind and emotions, so I don’t want to befriend them. There is no club near me that is targeted towards my interests. I don’t have the sudden ability to just approach people or simply talk to classmates. Also I often feel unwell (due to being sick or feeling down) so I stay in my room most of the time. Being friendless *** me up because I had met someone who showed genuine interest in befriending me but because I don’t know how, i never talked to him even when he first ask me what games i play. It was over a year ago and still I have in my thoughts about what would happen if I befriended him, if I know how to, and whenever I see him, I want to talk to him but don’t know how and what. I became a *** creep with this emotions of mine. I read countless advice from people and ai yet here I am still being friendless. I became used to it that I can’t imagine myself otherwise. And it is really unhealthy that across several accounts I have made several posts like this, and even used AI. This is because I feel uncomfortable with the people around me and simply because I have no friend to talk to about it.