I’m feeling too many things

I don’t even know how to begin with what I’m feeling honestly I feel everything but at the same time nothing. Sometimes I think about life and see how much I have left and I feel like I can’t make it, I have too much life left of pain and suffering. I’m sad all the times with happy moments. I feel like I ruin everything I always say something wrong and hurt someone. I’m so lost and alone idk what to do anymore.