Needing Emotional Closeness with my Fiancé . Depressed

Yall how do yall deal with needing emotional closeness with your fiancé? My fiancé is black by the way for information.

Our counselors want us to have a fast from sex until we get married and broke fast twice. The whole fast just been sending me through an emotional wreck but on a positive, I’ve been real close in my Bible and making more time to pray and read bible plans. How to cope with that?

Also my fiancé had made me upset in front of her performing cast when she said that i didn’t give her any flowers but i told her that they were at home and i didn’t want them to wilt. Kind of broke my heart a little bit and I’ve been in a depressive state because of the fast and just the way she be talking and handling things.

How do you cope with a sexual fast and dealing with trying to communicate with her without thinking she will find men to talk to and leave me because she talks about her “dead roster that can be revived” and talks about how she hates i love white women when i watch porn (which I’m trying to stop now on and off), and so much other stuff