Opinions on my therapy situation
hi everyone! i’m new here and could really use unbiased opinions about my therapy experience.
i’ve been seeing my therapist for about a year. she’s really nice and for the first few months i really felt like therapy was helping. but unfortunately, i feel like things have gone downhill. she sometimes seems distracted, almost like she’s writing up the previous client’s notes when i’m discussing how the last week has been. she talks about herself a bunch. like i know when she’s seeing a new guy and why it didn’t work with the last one, i know about her family members, etc. she also mentions other clients, which i know is common if therapists think it may help, but its details that i simply don’t need to know and show no interest in. sometimes it feels like she also uses the space to decompress from her job.
one time i had done a pretty emotional journal entry and wanted to read it to her but was shy. so instead of talking me through it (bc we both knew i would read it), she told me to look out the window and tried to grab my journal from me while my head was turned. i think that crossed a line. am i wrong?
i'm just struggling bc finding a new therapist is so much work and as a person i like my therapist, but i feel like my needs aren't being met. any advice? people who have been in similar situations? do i “break up” with her now or wait until i find someone new?
This is crossing a lot of lines, including deceiving you and sharing things from other clients (which isn't allowed; therapists aren't even allowed to acknowledge you if they see you in the grocery store!). That goes against confidentiality obligations. It's time to let this therapist go, and find one that respects you and their line of work.
Therapy is supposed to be an act of self care, and the 'therapeutic alliance' as it's known, is the biggest predictor of its effectiveness, but this sounds like it's outlibed its usefulness. I agree with others here that this seems like unprofessional, boundary-crossing behaviour. I've linked you a useful article from Psychology Today about when to end it with a therapist. To summarise, it states that there are certain red flags to look for - does the therapist seem present? Competent? Are you meeting treatment goals? From what you've indicated, none of these seem to be the case.
https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-break-up-with-your-therapist#the-whys