Perception
Not sure if this is the right place to put this or not but the term "general" seemed to be a catch-all so I figured it was best. If not, I know it will be scrapped or relocated.
Firstly, on the suggestion of someone, I applied for a supporter post. I got it but eventually work and school (mainly work) got me so overwhelmed that I wasn't as active in the forum as I should have been. At least I think that's what happened. I didn't know about it until someone sent me a message about it in chat.
I had a mixture of feelings about it. Worry that something said was incorrect, concern that I disappointed people, worry that in explaining what was happening I said too much and overwhelmed the other person...perhaps it's not a true mixture but varying degrees of anxiety for different things.
I left the sub-community because I figured that if I was the one at fault for something unintentional, it would be best to disassociate myself but I see the person who recommended me has come back.
I don't know if I want to send a message or not because I still have no idea what happened. If it was for a lack of conversing, yes my daily obligations were to blame for that. But, I also don't say much. I know some believe that talking less and listening more is a good thing but for me, I can never tell how something is going to be taken and I have had things taken out of context before. And then there's the sensation that no matter what I do, it won't be enough or right (which I get at work a lot) so why make a remark? I would rather stay silent than potentially upset someone else.
But, keeping quiet can result in a long post like this that doesn't really mean anything. I know perception shouldn't be a big thing but I have always been concerned about it. Maybe it's because so many aspects of life seem to demand perfection. I know I'm extremely inadequate so that makes striving for perfection quite impossible.
Perhaps that's what the concern is. Falling short of expectations or at least, perceived expectations. But reality doesn't give us clear cut expectations and most of us muddle through it all the best we can.
In any event, the experience has made me wary about making comments or threads anywhere outside of the Hobby section and it took me some time to think about doing this thread although now I am concerned about the length and how others will see it...
@Enthenia Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It's understandable to feel unsure about engagement and concerned about perceptions, but your voice and contributions matter. Take your time to navigate and find your comfort zone.
@Nwiirxz Thanks. I was just going to let it sit and not think about it because I was worried about the general reaction to it. Unlike other places, I can't remove it once it's been said (at least I don't think I can) and it took a long time to get that much down.
Most places I've been out there in the world, people don't care or only listen halfway (or like at work, I can get in trouble for it) so I've just gotten used to saying nothing. Why make an effort if it's going to be ignored?
@Enthenia , I am not aware about what caused you make a post. But please don't let it stop you from coming around , if and whenever you want. You don't have to be perfect. Because otherwise you will outshine all of us here ! Cus none of us are, yeh I know , cliche 😁. Phrasing thoughts rightly is complicated . And very often wrongly done. Don't blame yourself for something that's fundamentally difficult
@Skytied I come around but I don't say much. I actually didn't want to come around because of this post but I had free time at work (a rarity) and I knew I would have to look eventually although I was concerned about the nature of responses (like warnings for violating standards or something).
@Enthenia , yeah , receiving a feedback that lets one know they hadn't kept certain guideline in mind is a bummer. Also a learning moment. one can keep in mind what they missed the last time , when making the next post. It's okay to have learning curves cus it's always making you better. It's admirably that you came back to talk it out
@Skytied As I said, it takes me so long to actually say anything and I invariably worry about whether or not it was the best thing.
But, I did find out why the title was removed. I hadn't met my quota of posts. That's hard to do with everything else I have on my plate. But at least it wasn't for anything said.
