Post Grad Feelings and Venting
Hi there! I have been a volunteer listener on 7 Cups in the past but I’m now on the other side as a member. This is going to be a vent post to help me organize my thoughts and emotions, so feel free to read if you would like to, it is going to be pretty long.
I just graduated college almost 4 weeks ago and I’ve been really struggling to get through the day. I feel like this should be a time for celebration and relaxation, but lately I’ve been mostly feeling lost, depressed, and alone. I’ve never had a real job before and the thought of job hunting and applying feels like a nightmare, much less the stress and anxiety of finding one that I don’t hate. I have lived my entire life as a student and it has done so much good for me, especially in recent years dealing with some heavy depression and anxiety. It is really hard for me to let go of that chapter of my life and part of my identity and to have no routine or structure anymore.
I live with my parents and am fully supported by them financially and physically. I know that they love me and do the best they can with what they have, but they have their own problems with mental health and depression. Me and my mom’s relationship has been especially complicated throughout the years and I have always felt as if I am responsible for her emotions, even though I know I shouldn’t be. She is very emotional and deals with her own insecurities, so it is very hard to vent to her without her getting upset or getting frustrated when she can’t “fix” how I feel.
Both of my parents don’t go out or have many friends of their own, and aren’t close with our extended family, so feeling alone and isolated has been a struggle for me all my life. I have made friends in school, but I spent my last two years of high school during the pandemic and had a period in early college of severe depression and substance use, which left me feeling even more isolated. I have met some good people in my last few semesters at college, but none of which I feel extremely close to or give me the sense of consistent connection that I’m craving.
The only thing that has gotten me out of bed these last few days is getting up to walk my dog. I am trying really hard to get physical exercise, especially now that I am also struggling with my weight and am at the highest I have ever been. I want to be healthy and do the right thing, but it’s so hard not to give into emotional eating. I have tried to incorporate better habits, but I just have zero motivation and feel so depressed. I am always tired and have been sleeping so much. I have negative thoughts and pangs of anxiety throughout the day that just make me want to cry or crawl right back into bed. I feel like I should constantly be doing more, and I feel guilty whenever I take a break for myself. I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and nothing concrete to look forward to.
Thank you for reading if you have made it this far. Any words of support or encouragement would be much appreciated, no need to respond to every little thing, I know it is a lot. I also hope that if there is someone who reads this and can relate to anything that it may bring them some sort of comfort or reminder that they are not alone. Thank you to the 7 Cups community for providing a space where people can share their struggles and connect with others, it really makes a huge difference.
@indigoNectarine1356
Hello 🤗
Genuinely nice to meet you 💚
You are going through alot.
No doubt it can feel overwhelming.
College to a certain extent gave you a purpose and a distraction and allowed you to begin to heal.
Taking that away can be daunting.
Looking for a job can be daunting.
We always worry, will we like it, it's fear of the unknown.
But ultimately, you are not responsible for your mother's emotions, yes, you love her and support her but you cannot help anyone, if you put yourself last.
It's important to do small , daily, manageable tasks that allow you to stay healthy.
Feel more in control.
And feel more like you.
This will allow you to see progress and build up your confidence, as you go, none of us ever have all of the answers, we are making it up as we go along 💚
@Amanda84
Thank you so much for your kind words and support. Yes, the fear of the unknown is the hardest part for me. Change is always scary for me, even when it is a good change. It takes a ton of willpower to do the right thing, it gets exhausting. Sometimes we need to take a break and let ourselves feel what we need to. After that, it’s up to us to make those small changes. It’s terrifying, but it can also feel empowering.
Sending you all of my best wishes and support. Thank you for being such a supportive part of the community, it helps a lot.
@indigoNectarine1356 do we have the same parents? I'll tell you what I tell myself - choose yourself and your peace. Start building the life you want day by day, don't just exist. Set small goals, actionable goals, and find ways to push yourself forward. Don't stay stagnant and expect changes. Set yourself up in ways to become the person you want to be. 1 15 minute walk a day is better than zero. One journal entry of envisioning who you want to be is better than just looking at the mirror and hating yourself. Just start.
@limegreenLunch3293
Thank you for your support and the reminder. I completely agree with you, we are the only ones responsible for ourselves at the end of the day, as hard as that is to come to terms with. Self care is about more than just being kind to ourselves, it's about the steps we take and the changes we make to set our future self up for success.
It’s nice to hear that I’m not the only one with the same parents, although I'm sorry that you can relate to those hard emotions. I’m sending you all of my best wishes and good luck! I will be taking some small steps today, I hope you get to celebrate your victories and choose yourself and your peace as well.
@indigoNectarine1356 Hey there, I can relate to what you're saying and honestly I have the same fears as you do when I eventually graduate. It's a scary thought to have and that's totally okay because it's a normal part of life and something that everyone will have to go through at some point. You're not alone, and there's so many people going through similar feelings, having to deal with the anxiety of getting a job and letting go of their student life. I know it can be difficult to not overthink things but try to live in the present. You graduated college like that's amazing and you should be super proud of yourself! Your life is really only just starting, and even if it seems like you're not giong to be able to find a job you love or be able to make new connections with people, trust me, you will. Life isn't a sprint, and it never should be. Take all the time you need to work on your mental health, and take things one step at a time. Having a pet is great because they can do a lot for us especially when we feel down, so that's awesome that walking your dog is able to get you out of bed, even if that's the only thing. I know how much of a struggle it can be when you have no motivation to do anything, but I want you to know that it's okay. Please don't feel guilty, you're doing great.
@quackasaur
Thank you so much for the kind words and reassurance, it really means a lot. It always helps to be reminded that I’m not alone, that so many other people are going through the same thing. Life transitions are always scary, and the emotions that come are always heavy. I am still holding out hope that this can be a good change for me, that my life is only just starting. I also really appreciate the reminder that I will find connections and will find my people, that is something that has been weighing on my mind a lot. I am lucky to have what I do right now, and I’m holding on to those little things like walking my dog every day, being able to bring joy every day to a creature I love so much and having the ability to move my body is such a blessing.
I hope that you can extend the same kindness to yourself that you have to me and others, because you absolutely deserve it. It is nice to hear that you can relate, but I’m sorry that you have dealt with some of those difficult emotions. I hope that you are able to celebrate your victories and take care of yourself as well. I’m sending you my best, from one human who’s doing their best to another!
