Relationship shift
A change seems to have occurred in an important relationship. I thought I was prepared for this, but damn it hurts. I keep trying to think it through or distract myself. I hear myself say I failed. I hear myself say I can’t take this. I hear myself say I have no future. I would tell myself that none of this is true, and maybe that helps me from going into total depression, but right now the pain is pretty sharp. I don’t want 🌈 and bright future talk, I just want sympathy right now. 😢
It can get pretty annoying when everyone talks about the future when it hurts now. And even if you were maybe expecting it I think it can hurt more that way, especially if you think a lot and all the worst is happening. I guess I don't know what happened in your relationship, but it's probably not your fault entirely. When stuff hurts you sometimes have to let it for a minute, but when you cut up a plant, under the right conditions it grows. Is the plant you (getting beat up by life) or a problem you have (brewing over the problem a bit)? I guess it depends. But something similar has happened to someone before I'm sure, and one way or antoher it works out, even if it still hurts for a while and it might forever, good things will happen too, probably. But yeah that really is tough
It's jarring to have the rug pulled out from under us in relationships like that. I've been there too. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings and have all the thoughts. Don't censor them. Release them. Expressing them in their rawest form can be very cathartic. It's good that you're also careful to not let yourself slip too far into the darkness of depression by countering them with positive thoughts though. That's very wise.
