So a lot's going on and I guess this is a vent?

I haven't made a post on here before in fear of dreadfully messing up or something so if I did, sorry that's Harold's fault. I decided that I'm going to be nicer to myself by naming my brain Harold and whenever I do something stupid, it's simply Harold's fault. Guess we'll see how that goes. Recently I have been struggling with something and I don't know what it is. It could be autism or adhd or something I haven't heard about yet and I'm basically tired of it. Here's about how my day goes: My alarm goes off at 6 and I lie in bed for about 40-50 minutes until I get up. I have time to get clothes on and a couple other things when my sibling's alarms start going off. I then go upstairs and eat some food (usually fig bars or a not fancy crossiant) and pack up my computer and anything else I might need for school. I grab my coat and say my goodbyes and head out the door at around 7:18 and the bus gets to my stop about 7:25. I get to school and say hi to my friends in the library and wait for school to actually start. I can sit still in class mostly, although my legs do move a lot and in my choir class I get to sit on the floor sometimes. My classes aren't that hard at all but some are just I'll do this when I get home kind of work. At lunch I sit of the floor again because I don't like tables much. Throughout the day I get these amazing feelings about how much I love my friends and lower bits where what if they don't love me haha or the bad at schoolwork my parents expect more from you. Also being trans isn't fun. I'm not out to most and it's not fun. When I get home I take a shower and then read webcomics or watch tv until dinner. I feel like I don't eat as much latley. I also often feel a little sick for no reason yayy.. but if I'm sick it'll be harder later so Harold stop making me sick it won't solve my anxiety geez. I am bad at sleeping. It takes a little too long and on not school days I sleep in too much and don't get out of bed for about another hour or sometimes and hour and a half. I always feel pretty tired and also have tons of energy that I can't really use. Like being an adult and a kid at the same time. Also my brain so much has zoomies. I'll think of one thing and then another and it all scrambles together until It just goes blank ugh. Not blank, just a blur. Like I can see the mini explosion GIF or hear the keyboard spams in my head sometimes. Sometimes I just stare at people with the full mental awareness I should probably not do that, or at least smile. I've also been super noise sensetive which isn't amazing in a house with three siblings, two of which have autism and one of those two also adhd. I feel like half the words I say are shut up, please be quiet, please stop talking, please breath quieter, I HATE THE SKIN NOISE, ah that noise is horrible, ect. If it's at school I don't say it though because that would be rude. I also feel like a hypocrite because in the halls I'll just scream a little because I need a lil energy release or something like that. If someone else did it I'd be unhappy about it. I am trying to get headphones and a diagnosis of any sort tbh bt it's hard enough for my mom and dad with my siblings. Also I feel like some things I do are fake, like I'll shake my hands and be like wait, I read that in a book and I didn't do that until now so I'm faking it. Why? I don't know. I think Harold's trying to be noticed or something but he needs to not do that, it's rude and disrespectful to people who actually have ND stuff. I'm not saying I don't, something's probably wring in there, but it still shouldn't be like that. Also sometimes Harold tells me, hey what if there's a scary dark figure without eyelids and big long teeth in that window behind you watching you and I don't really want to turn around but I did and as expected, nothing was there. I sometimes don't even feel safe in my own room! I'll be uncomfy so I want to turn over but what if someone's in the closet waiting for me to? I simply remind myself I don't stand a chance either way so might as well and then I'm okay. What the heck, Harold? Also I need to buy a binder for my chest but I actually have no balls to ask my parents. I think that my dad wouldn't react well and my mom seems to have forgotten I told her a few months back about my being trans probably. Anyway, I'm going to ask my school to help me. I have enough to buy one but not the way to buy one through the internet or something idk this stuff. Anyway that's not really all I guess but I should go sleep and harold needs to chill because I can't think of anything else. Again sorry if I messed up at all but I hope y'all are doing better than yesterday. <3