That State of Mind

Trigger Warning maybe? (just to be safe): mention of suicide? (kind of, maybe) Is it though, no idea but I'd hate to trigger anyone so yeah warning.

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I'm currently in a state of where I don't want be off this living thing permanently but if I'm in a situation where I'm in a dangerous situation that seriously threaten my life and there's a chance I could save myself, I wouldn't take that chance and would make it look like a tragedy...

Not that it would happen, I barely have the energy to turn my head these days and leave my bed, and I wouldn't actively put myself in danger... But yeah, like if let's say there's terrible storm that crumble our house right now with me underneath and there are rescues looking for life, I wouldn't really scream for help.

It'll pass like any other thoughts I have but it's a state I'm in right now and it sucks. Just feels numb and uncaring. Even when mom shouts, feelings is not there and just taking it.