~The After~

It's strange how something can be over and still live in me. How i can smile, talk, work and still feel the echo of it in every single thing I do

I dont cry about it as much as I used to anymore, but sometimes i go numb mid sentence and cant explain why

Sometimes i miss the version of me who didnt know what this kind of pain was or understood it fully

People call it healing, but healing feels like losing parts of myself i never got to properly meet

Like the pieces that helped me survive dont fit the life im trying to build now

Some nights i manage to feel proud that i made it through the fire

But other nights all I feel is hollow, like the fire is still inside me.

I dunno if thats strength or it just means that im damaged

Maybe it means both.

But im still here and i think that has to count for something at least

~🪻