Trying to keep my head above water

feeling like quite the failure/loser lately it’s been a rough couple of years. Had a bad falling out with my family twice while trying to fix things. Sadly both times ended in violent results. Where my brother and my mom tried to kill me with a knife, stabbing me in side and a second time where he mashed a dicer over my head and arm. They ran to the police and had them put restraining order against. Ever since then 2022 I’ve been bouncing around from couch to couch and from here to there. Every time something good comes my way I seem to mess it up or things go south rather quickly. And now I’m at the point I have a great job at a hotel that I’ve been staying at but my boss got in trouble and now I’m on verge of being homeless. I’m in huge debt to the hotel for all the money I owe close to 3 grand. I’ve reached out to my community programs and it’s lead to dead ends or just running in circle. Everything has gotten to me so much that the other night I had a mental breakdown and started bashing my head into walls trying to break my skull then I started cutting my forehead and my arms. I’m broke, have no insurance and can’t afford therapy.