Unmet needs

Hi. Lately I've been thinking what is wrong with my life and what should I change/work on. And I realized that I have so many unmet needs!

First I have a bad relationship with my family. I don't talk to my dad's side of the family and my mom's one is in another country. The communication with my parents is hard. We fight a lot and they are not emotionally present or invested.

I don't have any friends. The only friend I had was extremely pushy about her religious views and was trying to

Force them on me.

I have a bad physical health(mental too)

I am not happy with the city I live in and it makes me cry to think that some people have the chance to be living somewhere else. It's overall dirty and unsafe.

I have and never had any boyfriend and everyone around me already has one. (But I also know that they are problems too in relationships)

I don't think I am pretty or smart or have anything to offer to others. Everything I can do is only try to support people sharing some positive messages but that's everything I can do.

My grades are average. And I wish I was smarter.

I also noticed that I tend to self pity a lot instead of doing things to feel better. But I'm so lost and I don't know what to do. This app is my only safe place. But I am already happy with it. It would have been horrible without it.

So yeah, right now almost all my needs of social connections, feeling secure and others are not met. I just feel so frustrated. I don't know what to do and it hurts so bad. It feels at this point that I don't deserve anything. I cry several hours everyday and sometimes I hurt myself to feel better.

I wanna see a therapist but I have been put on a wait list and it's gonna be at the end of November. In the meantime I have no idea what to do because I feel so broken. It hurts every single day and I prefer to sleep the majority of my free time just to not put up with the pain.