What to do when you are disappointed in life?
I have been through a lot and I am becoming more and more disappointed in life. It seems just not worth it. Some people have a great life, but mine is filled with pain, betrayal, abandonment and neglect. I have been backstabbed by my family members, abandoned by the people I really trusted and loved. Now what? How can I trust human beings again? I wish I wasn't even a human because human are awful. And all the people that told me I can count on them to just leave me on read when I asked for help.
I'm trying my best to improve my life but nothing seems to work. I just want to give up. I matter to no one anyways. I know that it's important to love yourself but what's the point of living if nobody gives a damn about you.
My own dad once told to k@ll myself.
I'm starting to think he was right. And probably my whole family was right that I am stupid and worthless and won't amount to anything.
What makes me even more angry is when people say things like, family is everything, they always care about you. No they don't. If only you knew what happened with my family you wouldn't say such things.
Thanks for reading it this far if you made it.
I needed to rant because it was just not my week. On top of all yesterday was my birthday and obviously it was awful as nobody in my family remembered it and I just spent the whole day crying.
And the only friend I had disappointed me too.
I am just starting to hate humans at this point.
Nobody truly cares and I'm not gonna trust anyone anymore because everybody is just mean and awful.
@schrodingerscattt 😥😥 in trying to be a good friend to you😥 in sorry sweetie
@Tinywhisper11
I'm sorry I meant another friend that I have met last year. We met up not long ago and I thought I could really trust her. But now she's not even replying to me. And she was the only person I had because she was living in my city. That's what I meant. I have nobody in this city anymore and I feel heartbroken.
@schrodingerscattt isolate
Look up the term misanthropy. I've been in the spot you're in now...when I reached the inevitable conclusion, it was oddly satisfying. Definitely a "my eyes have been opened wide" moment.
@slowdecline48
Thanks. I will look it up.
Look into hypnotherapy and Inner Child work. Other people will always disappoint us family included, they are only people with a label. It’s about loving yourself which starts with visualising you as a child and taking your own hand when you are faced with a situation.
@dancingJoy75
I got recommended to look into self love many times! Here and in other forums. I know it's important but it's so hard for me. I'm not sure it's something i will be able to do on my own. Even though i agree with you about the importance of self love, i still think that love from other people is irreplaceable and no amount of self love will fill the lack of love from your family for example.
I agree with you self love is hard
it’s a slow process and takes a lot of effort and determination.
What I’ve noticed is it’s very attractive, magnetic even ♥️
@schrodingerscattt
The point of living is that you give a damn about yourself. I understand where you are coming from (in a sense) and am known with feeling hatred towards humans. I dislike them still and do not trust them.
However, you won't gain without taking risks. This simple fact kept me from growing bitter.
Please learn about self- love and acceptance.
The social isolation is not a bad idea either, if you can manage and use that time to focus on yourself.
But above all: I am sorry you are going through this, I can imagine it's incredibly heavy to bear.
Also; belated congratulations for your birthday 🫂
@ObscureXen
I get what you are saying but it's so hard for me to love myself you know. I was always used to live for somebody else, my parents, and my sole life purpose was to make them proud of me. So now, living for myself and loving myself is scary. And also, even if if you love yourself what's the point of life if you have nobody? If you have no family member you can trust? I don't even have any real friend in real life. Only acquaintances. It's such a lonely existence and it's tough. My family didn't even wish me happy birthday! Maybe i am too focused on them right now and should de-center them. I wish i had this chosen family that everybody is talking about but i don't know how to find genuine people who will love me. On top of all i was never properly taught by my parents how to communicate with others (they don't even have friends themselves and barely go outside) so it's even harder for me.
thank you for your reply and i will definitely think about the self love concept.
@schrodingerscattt Unfortunately and fortunately, what you write hits home here.
I was and am struggling with the same question basically: why bother to love myself?
It's only since recent that I could truly connect to that 'demon' and realized how much I've been impacted by exactly that: not valuing and caring for myself. Literally was screaming at an A.I. bot in chat: "Why am I not good enough?!" Well, when I read it back it just fell into place: I AM good enough but I'm so convinced that I'm not. I could see how highly critical my inner critic is and it lead to years and years of never feeling valued, even when I had people that truly did. It never mattered because my mind would dismiss it immediately and I'd end up feeling lonely and miserable anyway.
It was the leading voice in my head, I did not stand a chance really.
And only now I so understand why I have been struggling so much with other people; it was never about them. It still is not. And trust me, I've been into this topic for a while as well but could not grasp it. But also dismissed it (doing the affirmations for example). Now, I am practicing it and it already makes a difference.
Do we need others? Yes we do, but we need ourselves above all. Find your power, and stand in it like the warrior you are.
Being (emotional) dependent on others is *** imo and you deserve so much better.
If you got your own back, you are in such a strong position.
Take it from someone who knows what you are going through and only now understands it to the extend that I can grow further in this.
It will be worth all the struggles and errors.
A big hug for you, you can do this! 🫂
@schrodingerscattt I try to determine is if my dreams are dead or alive, but one will never know until they open the box. Reality is a duality just as energy and matter.