When a Child Loses a Significant Other
Feelings common to the early stages of grieving include:
- Numbness
- Disbelief
- Detachment
- Aversion to food
- And an overall disturbance in body functioning.
Traumatic emotional loss is so abhorrent to the mind that the child cannot cope with it.
Healing through love is the alchemy that moves the child forward toward wholeness. While grieving, the child’s caretaker should honor and pay attention to his physical, nutritional and emotional needs. It is vital that this child be allowed to express his feelings and be with his grief. There must be time given for the process. The stages of grief, according to Kubler Ross are:
- Denial and isolation, 2. Anger, 3. Bargaining, 4. Depression, 5. Acceptance, 6. and Hope. These are all natural to the human psyche.
- According to Bulby and Parks, the emotional stages that accompany these physical markers are: 1. Shock and numbness, 2. Yearning and searching, 3. Disorganization and despair, and then 4. Reorganization.
- It is important at this time to create strategies for the child to effect and inward and outward healing.
- Relationships that have been intact up to this point are often threatened and sometimes dissolved with the onset of grief, as the bereaved child transfers his feeling of grief inadequacy, and guilt to those relationships.
Healing begins and ends with the heart. It is a life-long process. How do we help children grieve? Adults must make sure that:
- Grieving children get plenty of rest.
- Grieving children should eat a balanced diet.
- Grieving children should drink plenty of water.
- Grieving children should exercise, but remember that fatigue is often a characteristic of both loss and depression.
- Grieving children should meet with other children in therapeutic groups such as those offered by the Compassionate Friends. Here they can stay connected to children who have experienced a similar personal story. It is through relating to other children in cohesive groups that allows the grieving child to begin to model successful survival skills.
- Psychoanalytic therapy and medication may be needed so that both a psychiatrist and pediatrician should be incorporated into a healing time to support the child and help the child stay healthy, while under extreme stress.
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Reflection:
What are your thoughts on this article?
#Grief #Loss #Children #MentalHealth
@comfortableNight4463
This is such a heavy topic, yet such an informative post. Thank you for sharing it with us.
I think many of the suggestions are "comfort" type of things, yet things that children (and their caregivers!) should strive to experience everyday: adequate rest, healthy food, staying hydrated, exercise, down time.
I have witnessed that those going through grief often do not feel hungry, or do not want to eat, so giving small healthy snacks, like meat/cheese/crackers, or keeping the fridge stocked with quick food options, might be a good idea. I also recognize that everyone reacts and grieves differently, and that grief does not have a linear timetable.
My last idea is that keeping the loved one's memory alive is important. Sharing pictures, videos and stories can be cathartic and healing. Keeping a piece of their clothing, a favorite blanket, or another special keepsake may be important for the child through the years, and will give them something tangible to hold when they are feeling sad.
