15 year rut.

There is a lot to me. I may not even be 15 years old yet, but I honestly could never explain what all has happened in my short life. When I was born, my parents were older, my mom was about to turn 40 and my dad was 38. I have one half sister, which my mother had when she was 19. So, whenever everyone found out about me, theywere all suprised. I was planned, and so was my life it seemed, I guess Iwouldn't have been happy in that lifeanyway. When I was born, we werewell off, my dad owned a construction company and we honestly were pretty wealthy, he had built our house, and it was beautiful, by the time I was 5 we had a pool, and evena pool house, and everyone thought we were the shit. My mother always thought she was better than everyone else because of that, she has always had some major personality issues, and sometimes I even see it in myself, and I have tried so hard to work on that, because she is the last person I want to be like. Don't get me wrong, the first 8 years of my life, she was a good mother, she had a sweet side, and was protective of me, and was there. The problems all started when the housing market crashed when I was 8^, my dad had no work, and therefore had to go to school, and learn something new andfast, and he became a truck driver. My mother became very agitated at him, because he could no longer make near as much money, but it really wasn't anything he could help. His first company he worked for, promised he'd be home every weekend, but it ended up being more like once every 3 weekends, while he was gone my my mother cheated on him, and started drinking and she was just the type that couldn't handle it, and abused it way too much. After a while, her and my father ended up getting a divorce. He still doesn't know she cheated on him. My mother ended up abusing me, dated a very disgusting drug dealer, and I only got to see my dad on weekends, she'd hang up the phone if he ever tried calling me. Finally I told my dad, things that happened, and he ended up taking everything to court and he won me. He lost everything he had because of her, but we're finally getting things back to normal. The housing market has picked back up, and he's just recently started back with that, and we're making money just as he did before. As for my mother, after I left, I was no longer in her way, she ended up drinking herself, and basically not eating on account of not having any money of her own, until she was about 75 pounds, when I was a small child, she weighed 220. I still was always around her side of the family, just not her, and they all tried to help her, and failed many times. She lost the house, married the drug dealer, he died from choking on his own puke, met another man even worse, and he died about 6 months later too. Then finally, she straightened up somewhat, and began living with a friend, she's done better wishing the past year, and now is a healthy weight, and lives with a good man, and helps with bills, and I see her sometimes now. She has done things to me that I have basically blocks out in my mind, and I am still scared to death of her. I am almost certain she has began drinking here lately again, and even though I don't have to deal with her, I'd still rather her not. Anyways, while me and my dad were struggling, I was going into 8th grade, and he was still driving a truck, we had gotten back from California and was late on rent, and a couple days afterward I was woken up by the mean landlord lady, and a cop, and she yelled at me "I gave you 10 days, you were supposed to be out." My dad had went to the store, and I was there alone, and she just yelled at me like it was my fault, he came home about 5 minutes later, but it remember that being one of the worst days of my life. We stayed with friends for a couple of weeks, until we rented a new house, during that time, I was basically molested by my crush that I had since I was 9, I was 12 at the time, him 14, and although I didn't actively try and stop him, I did say no, and he stopped for a bit but started back. I was extremely uncomfortable. He didn't fuck me, but other things happened that I wish never would've. I was too blind though, I still liked him, but after that he moved to my school, and acted like he never knew me. I was heartbroken. I acted out in hope he'd talk to me again, but never did that entire year. I was crushed in two completely. Then, I met a boy I'll call Dale here, I met him at my best friend's house of which he was staying at with her brother, there were many people there but me and dale talked, and we had a lot in common, he was 16 and I 13. He seemed like such a good guy and perfect for me. He ended up taking me out for my birthday, and we were in an eight month long relationship, and I was in complete love with him. We basically spent every single minute, every day together. He got to the point where he didn't want that and I couldn't take it, we ended up breaking up, because I had messaged a guy friend about our problems, basically that he was never there for me anymore, and constantly told me I was stupid, and just completely changed on me, I'd cry to him every night, but he would just get annoyed. He never comforted me. When Dale found the messages, he broke up with me, we did fight c