Close to giving up
I don’t know what to do and how to feel anymore about a certain friend.
We’ve been friends for three years. Lately, she’s been down at a spiral, and by lately, I mean to say the last two years. I don’t want to assume she’s depressed because she hasn’t been professionally diagnosed. She refuses to get professional help because she says she can handle things and that her family disapproves it, like it’s a shameful thing. She doesn’t handle anger and stress well.
I’m the only one she has and I’m the receiving end. She says I’m the reason why she’s hurting and I’m starting to believe that. I know I’ve made mistakes before but I’d like to think I’m doing my best to make up for them. But after two years it just doesn’t seem enough. I’ve been rolling with the punches, accepting her hurtful words. I know it’s important to be patient and compassionate and I’m doing my best to be. I still deeply care about her and her well-being. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I don’t know where to draw the line.
Hi, I'm so sorry about your situation. I can feel how much you are trying to make this person feel better and make them feel your closeness. I don't know the reasons why they tell you these hurtful things but if you say you are doing your best, I believe you. It is not easy to deal with a person suffering from depression, probably their feeling bad makes them push people away. Despite this, you don't have to be in a situation you don't like and the fact that this person feels that way doesn't allow them to treat you that way. In order to be close to this person you are forgetting about your own well-being, and the problems and feelings of others should not be at your expense. And your feelings are valid, allow yourself to feel sadness, anger, frustration too. I'm not suggesting that leaving this person is the only way, but you should talk to them about how you feel about the situation and their behavior towards you. Remember to take care of yourself too. I wish you the best of luck and hope things get better
Thank you for taking the time to listen. This means a lot. :(
I guess I haven’t had the courage to talk about how this makes me feel because I always seem to be wrong and I don’t want to make things worse than they already are. Like they’ll say that I’m not understanding it right and I’m just assuming and perhaps even antagonizing them.
I appreciate your advice and kind words, really. I feel heard, so thank you
