Feeling a bit hopeless today
Lately I just feel like I keep getting rejected, feel like nothing is going right.
I went for a job today and it looks like I didn't get it. I get so nervous and act like a gibbering idiot. This is one of 5 jobs I've tried for in the past year, I feel like I'm never good enough, never going to be given a chance. I'm stuck in my job I dislike, and it gets me down, but I have to keep up with it, as I have a mortgage to pay for.
I'm not having much look when it comes to my love life either. I'm not having much success finding someone, I feel like I'll never find anyone, I'm not desperate and I don't mind my own company, it would just be nice to meet somebody who sticks around long enough. I thought I'd met a really great guy a couple of years back, and things were going good, the best thing was we were good friends, and we were in contact every day, he was such a support to me, but things changed , some how it felt like when I met his family, now he just wants to be friends but worse fwb, whilst he is finding a wife, and actually he has been distant lately that I don't even hear much at all from him, he probably has just moved on with his life, yet I still really miss him. I question a lot what is wrong with me.
I used to feel very optimistic and hopeful in life, about life in general, but lately I just struggle each day to feel anything good. I'm not happy and so discontented, I don't sleep, I never wake up with that bright cheery feeling I used to get, the day is just another day to get through. I wish I didn't have these feelings, and sometimes I think what have I really got to be down about when there are people with real problems in the world, but somehow I still feel so low and negative about life.
I can definitely feel you on the love life. I've never found anyone that I felt was compatible with me, but I never really tried that hard. I've always been shy around girls. Slowly improving though. That kind of thing takes micro steps, especially when you come out of a dark hole.
I've only held one real job since I was in high school, for about 3.5 years, until I said no more. It was stressful and thankless most of the time, and I don't miss it one bit. That and the owners we're stiffing people on overtime pay.
I'm not one for advice, but if I can say one thing, I'll restate what I said above: just take micro steps. Whether it's a job, trying to find someone, or something else, take small steps. I found that helps me a lot. I had some bad habits I was struggling with and a tendency to shut myself away from others, but by taking small steps to change that, I've improved a lot.
I also wouldn't be too hard on yourself, if at all. We're all human, and we all struggle differently.
Feel free to shoot me a message if you want to talk. I'm not the wisest person, but I'll always listen :)
I am so sorry that you feel this way. You are not alone.