For Freedom, For Happiness
Have you ever ran away from your problems? You think you can outrun all the stress, all the sadness and turmoil you are experiencing but can’t escape? Have you gone through a traumatic experience, still wounded and don’t know how to heal?
This is me. I have been running away from myself for over a decade. My family wants so much from me, so controlling…not knowing the damage that they are causing. How can we live up to the expectations of others when we are to fulfill ourselves? What’s good enough for you isn’t good enough for me, maybe it’s too much. The pressure is a lot to bear; keeping all of my emotions and thoughts bottled in, year after year…only to find myself here. Finally broken, completely shattered.
I am trying to learn how to heal, I am trying to find my way back to who I was, filled with joy. Time and time again I let down someone who is close to my heart; disappointment is an emotion I cannot deal with. That’s all I’ve been told.
I don’t have friends, I don’t have a family I can turn to, I don’t have anything anymore. It is hard to find peace by myself, or even support. Silence kills, so this is where I speak freely. For freedom, for happiness 🗣️
@treyydeucee you don't need to speak silently here, cause this is your safe place, where others understand what your going through. As you was writing that out, did you notice how much you try to please others? Cause in reality this is your life, your in charge and you gotta do what makes you happy, what you want to do. If someone gets dissapointed, well that's their problem, not yours. Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤squeezes you tightly ❤ let's you know you are the most perfect version of you there could ever be ❤
@Tinywhisper11 thank you! One of my biggest issues is please people. I grew up in a home where “you are to be seen, not heard” was my life. I cannot break out of this mindset especially under my father. He treats me like a slave, it has always been this way. The only time I have peace, is when I am in a place of my own. No one judging me. No one watching me; pointing out my mistakes every 10 minutes. It’s hard to balance myself, because they do not allow me to be myself or do anything that makes me happy. I hate being a people pleaser, I just want to be free. In the home where I stay, if I do not comply to their rules, I will be thrown out on the street. I can’t be homeless, I suffer from post brain cancer effects.
@treyydeucee God bless you. I wish I could bring you here with me, where you would be looked after and safe and free. Your story is truly heartbreaking. I don't know why some people are allowed to have children 😞 it's very sad. But hey, I'm always here, with my arms ready to hug you, and a listening ear. You don't have to suffer silently here, you can express your voice freely ❤❤❤ cause we understand your pain. hugs you tightly ❤
@tinywhisper11 you are truly beautiful inside and out. Thank you for your love, support and reflection upon me. I appreciate it more than you know. I am heartbroken and mentally broken, but recovery takes place everyday now…as much as it can. Please know that when you are down, tag me or contact me on here. Just like you are here for me, I am here for you. Nobody is to be alone, especially not on this platform filled with so many beautiful people going through different type of storms in their life. Thank you again, just for being you who are.
*hugs you back w/ a squeeze*
@treyydeucee hey you ❤I just stopped by to check in on you ❤ how are things going right now?? How are you feeling? Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤squeezes you tightly ❤❤
Hey hey ❤️
Thank you for checking in on me. Things are going well. All I can be is the best I can be in every situation, that’s good enough for me. Praying to God daily for increase in every area of my life.
How are you! I hope all is well! You’re the best, you know that?
*gives big hugs and holds you*
@treyydeucee well your doing a great job ❤ you are definitely the best version of you there could ever be ❤❤ I hope your prayers come true ❤ never give up ❤ I'm glad your doing ok ❤❤ I'm also doing the best I can ❤
@treyydeucee i know the feeling what uou are going through. life feels so pointless and void at times. my healing also looks like running. its very beautifully written. i hope u find friends in real life with whom you can freely share till then you can use this platform to get that feeling off of your chest.
It really can be. Life is much different than what I remember. Everything is hard and help is very fair these days. Thank you for your encouragement and I am hoping the same for you. Anything you want or need, you can achieve! I believe in you friend.