How can I move on?
In March of this year my husband and I got into a huge fight about something or other. He said that I'm a bore when I get depressed. That it's tiring and draining to fix me. I was told that I just choose to be depressed. That I choose to not do anything. That I choose to be how I am. That I'm just getting dragged forward. That I'm not putting in effort or anything close to equal. That I choose not to fix anything. That I choose to be depressed. We have never really talked about it since. I have brought it up a few times and he just seems to not really care. This month I asked again and he complained that it was just me who couldn't move on from this that I was the one to move on since he already had (he said that he doesn't remember things after a fight because it doesn't matter to him and he moved on). I feel like I can't get him to realize that he hurt me so deeply and all I can seem to do is pretend I've moved on. He doesn't do talking through problems - so it makes things hard for me because I do. So I feel like I need to just do what he wants or else he stays mad at me. So I just fold and make it that I'm always in the wrong and he is right.
I'm so sorry to hear your husband isn't as understanding as you'd like him to be. That is a really tough situation. Do you think he doesn't understand what depression entails? Or he does, but just doesn't care? If it's the former, would he be willing to educate himself a bit on the topic? Maybe by reading a couple articles online or something like that, to geta more objective idea about what being depressed really means? Also, I don't think they you should be expected to just fold and what the other person wants in a healthy relationship. Understanding and communication are essential for both parties. I hope you'll be able to find some middle ground with your husband, for both your sakes. Good luck!
Thank you. A lot of what you mentioned I talked with him about. And he didn't realize how he had come across or how I don't process like he does. We had an excellent talk over and we are both more clear on how the other talks/listens. Thank you for your words - they were helpful.
That's amazing! I'm so glad to hear your husband was receptive to the idea of seeing things from your point of view :) Hopefully it'll be only up from now on :) @AIW1632
