I'm worried I'll never be okay
I'm sure this is a common thought. Lately it has been a very pervasive one for me. It seems like, when I eat well and life is going reasonably okay for me- my mental health is okay. I can stick to my routines and have a bit of fun and do some of the things I want to. But then, the second I stop eating well and I start to let things slip, everything just crumbles. It takes months to build myself up, and only a few weeks to have everything fail. And even when I am "okay", I still have trouble motivating myself to do the things I want. To convince myself I deserve a better job. To exercise and feel confident in my body. To create and share my gifts. I work on those things when I can, but then it's as if all the hard work I put in goes to waste when everything slips again. How can I ever truly put in the work if my foundation is so weak?
This time it feels impossible to pull myself out. But I have to. I have to find a new place to live by the end of the month in a VERY competitive market as well as find a job in an equally competitive market. I have to pick myself up and do all the things, even though I have no energy and feel terribly unattractive and have no confidence. Everything feels impossible. I look at other people my age and they are succeeding, while I feel like I will always be stuck. I will always be unconfident and living in a rut. I am 24 and despite the fact I have been consciously trying to change for 5 years now, it doesn't seem like enough.
Your mind forms your situations, and your situations form your mind. I know it's easier said than done, I know how difficult, even impossible it is to translate words into an action. I need you to tell yourself this every morning, "I am brave, I am courage, I am worthy and I know my potential exceeds what my current circumstances, I will learn to trust myself and know that through faith and hard work I can achieve greater heights. " People used to think that the link from our mind to our actions only flow in one direction, but it's been found that that link is bidirectional. There are TED talks scientific research that you can look up (if you wish) that proves this, including the way you dress being able to influence the way you think and act. I'll link the Ted talk at the end of this comment. But above all, I urge you not to feel pressure that there's so much you need to do, so much you can achieve, because progress looks different on everyone. 3 steps forward and 2 steps back is still moving, even if it is a slower journey. Be patient with yourself, congratulate yourself on the achievements you make, even the small ones, and even more the ones that others can't see. God bless.
This is the link to the TED talk if you're interested :https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en
You will it won't be like this forever
