I want to move on

I had listen to so great listeners i just am looking for somwone who is more imformed of my issues i was sexualy assulted by a family member for many years i went through a period were i didnt at i just breath and harm myself i tired of feeling numb lost and confused. I just want to do more then tell my story i want to rewrite it start over i wasted my whole life in fear its time to live my life i just dont know where to turn or start.