Never ending
I feel like I've been stuck in the same place for so long. I long for a chance to go somewhere else, but I still haven't finished school yet. I try to enjoy what I learn, and I try my best at work, but it doesn't feel like it's enough some days. Some days feel like an endless loop of thoughts. Of what will and won't be.
There are some days where I want to just drop everything. move out, and...well, I dunno. I'm just sick of seeing the same places.
I still have my video games though. They keep me sane, although I've been bad and slacked off this week on school cause of it. I guess it doesn't matter in the long run. I mean, I enjoyed it, right?
I really don't know what to say right now. I'm just sitting here with a beer thinking about life and wondering if things will change anytime soon. I'm probably just full of it anyway.
@Nick8876 I feel you. This is exactly me right now, except for me it's the novels that keep me away from my present obligation. Some days I just want to give up chasing for this thing I've been studying. This is not even what I want for the future but I'm too afraid to leap to a new unknown. You had me at "wondering if things will change anytime soon". That's what I basically think every minute of everyday.
@Nick8876
P.S. I'm actually supposed to be preparing for school now but I'm just here, procrastinating.
I relate to this feeling, and I believe a lot of other people experience this at some point or another in their lives. When it's our life we're attempting to analyze, it's hard to see how far we've truly come because we're constantly in the driver seat. Hopefully this analogy will make sense, but you know how when you're the passenger of a vehicle you're free to take your time and appreciate all the sights that pass you by? As the driver you're able to glimpse at the scenery here and there, sure, but it's fragmented compared to what the passenger is able to see. As the driver, your main focus is your destination so things on the side tend to fade out a bit.
Let me drag this analogy back to life, now. In life, we're so focused on the destination of our own lives, right? Whether that destination is a goal, a different location/scenery, happiness, etc. That is our focal point and so things happening outside of that tend to fade away. Because our peripheal can only pick up so much, our impression of our progress is fragmented and not as whole as it would be if we were on the outside looking in. It isn't until we consciously stop ourselves and pick an event from several years ago and compare it to now do we see the changes that have occurred in that time span. When we're in the driver seat, the journey feels like it's taking forever and we're just not going fast enough. But when you pull yourself back and sit in the passenger seat, you're able to see just how far you've come.
A thought that often helped me when I felt like I was making zero progress was this, "I may not be where I used to be, but I'm sure as hell not where I used to be." I'm not where I want to be, yet, but I'm not where I used to be. I promise this tunnel just feels neverending, and that there is light at the end of it. Keep pushing forward, take self-care breaks when you need, and soon you'll find yourself out in the sun again.
In the mean time, think about things that would interest you at this part of your journey. Until you reach the point that you want to be, what are some things you could add into your life that would perhaps make it more enjoyable? Something to switch up what may be a monotonous routine.
Cheering you on~
@ValentineLove Hah, exhaustion is a funny thing. Wanted to add in that the thought was typed incorrectly. It's "I may not be where I want to be, but at least I'm not where I used to be."
