Quit OR hold on?
Over the course of my lifetime, I have been doing business. With various levels of success. At first everything was so successful and I was happy and busy and fulfilled. Then things tumbled after the death of my wife.
I have tried starting new ventures but for some reasons I give up along the way.
Right now I have several Business ideas but my self doubts are preventing me from starting them.
What if I fail again? What if I have already lost my charisma? What if I don't generate enough clients? What if my occassional mood swings (from my depression) pushes away employees and clients?
Am at that stage in life where retirement is just around the corner. With all my kids in college I will be totally free. So what will I do with my time?
A couple of years ago I started another business. It was ok for a while and it helped me achieve a lot. And I have never felt so much at peace. But for whatever reasons I let it go to waste. Right now the equipment I had bought are lying to waste. What if it happens again with the new ideas I have?
Am I a failure?
I have seen my peers start and achieve tremendous success over a few years. Why can't I too?
I feel such a waste. Occasionally I feel like just ending it all.
Does anyone really get me?
@imaginativesquare254 I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be hard to lose a spouse. My heart goes out to you
I actually started a charity organization to continue her work with the community which she had done for quite a while. Its doing well right now and I'm sure she would be impressed with what we have done
A part of me thinks I get (subconsciously) overwhelmed with parental responsibilities. Running a home with three kids in college is a bit daunting. And with 50% of my time dedicated to running the charity then I only have so little time to start something new
Yet the last time I started a business I was so fulfilled, so in my element that I actually realized I would want to do that for the rest of my life
My question is why do I walk away over flimsy excuses? Why do I keep thinking am not good enough like my peers who have done amazing work with their gigs?
Occasionally I talk to a therapist. It helps, then I get better. Then a relapse. And the cycle begins all over again
I just want to settle, once and for all
@imaginativesquare254
I completely understand you. I know loss like that can be excruciatingly painful and devastating. I'm very sorry your going through this.
I suffer from severe depression and it is hard. One day your flying high in the clouds then something happens and your at the bottom of the toilet. Some days are horrible and some have shining moments. You think you have control and start feeling good and positive and something happens to knock you right back down again.
This is where this site has been my life saver. I get support from people who understand my situation, or at least have empathy. If something upsets me I take 10 deep breaths and go to my happy place. I'll tell anyone hold on a minute. If that doesn't snap me out of it I come here. I find relief in both supporting and sharing here.
As for other people. Comparison is the worst thing you can do. They haven't been through what you been through. They haven't walked a mile in your shoes. Nor do they think like you.
Why not just give up. Because you have children who need you. Your a role model. Obviously a great one with your kids in college. It's okay for them to see your weak moments. It's ok for them to see your human. Your showing them how topersevere through what seems like the impossible.
I know your wife is proud of you. Looks like she picked a wonderful guy and great father for her children.
Lastly here's my new favorite quote.
What if I fail she said. They whispered back what if you fly?
Hugs if accepted. You've got this. 🤗❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤗
@imaginativesquare254
Losing one's partner can be very difficult to deal with. I am really sorry for your loss.
Maybe you are not finding in fulfillment in your ventures that you used to find when your wife was alive.
Maybe you can start a venture that was close to your wife. Something you know she would be proud of is she were alive. Maybe that will keep you motivated and you wont quit until you find success in it.
My prayers and best wishes with you.