Relationship Motivation

What motivates you to do anything in life is a complex interweave of personal choice and interest combined with your social environment, and the pursuit of romantic relationships is no exception. Our society places a tremendous amount of pressure on peopl,men, women and those with non-traditional gender identities alik to find a romantic counterpart and then, what that relationship should look like.

How you reconcile these pressures with your personal preferences and value and even your insecurities and fear determines how satisfied youll be with your romantic pursuits,and how you operate in any romantic relationship you find yourself in. Not much can be done about social influences, so gaining insight into, and refining, your own relationship-oriented motivation is a good place to start if youre hoping to find that special someone.

For starters, your motivation to get out there to find love is shaped by some factors common to all goal seeking behavior. Activation occurs when you take the first steps toward a goal (filling out an online profile for a dating website). It is often said that taking the first step to do something different in your life is the most difficult.Continuing to move in the direction of your goal is known as persistence. Being persistent means that you continue to work toward a goal even when you encounter a roadblock along the way.

The intensity component of motivation refers to the level of energy and attention you employ to reach your goal. An individual who is determined to find a romantic relationship may approach this goal with vigor by creating an online dating profile, attending a speed dating event, and seeking out opportunities to interact with others.

Activation, persistence, and intensity are all influenced by your sense of self-efficacy, or your confidence that youll be successful at the task you apply yourself to.Generally,the higher the level of self-efficacy you have the better your chances for a successful outcome,whereas low self-efficacy is correlated with procrastination,making excuses, avoiding challenging tasks, and minimal effort.

For some single people, not having taken the first steps to start a relationship may be a result of low self-efficacy as opposed to a lack of interest. It may be challenging for you to be willing to date if you dont believe that you will be successful with the process. Therefore, it is important to consider how your perception of yoursel both in general and in the context of dating, in response to your past dating experience can either promote or inhibit your desire to find romance.

A related factor, and one of the most influential when it comes to finding a compatible mate, is how important that pursuit is to you. expectacy level value informs us that the intensity of our behavior is a function of both our self-efficacy and the value that our goals have for us. In other words, the more confident you are, and the more highly you value the construct of a romantic relationship, the more you will persist and apply effort towards achieving this goal. Even if you dont believe you will be successful at dating,you may still find yourself in the dating scene if your degree of motivation has a greater influence on your behavior than your perceived ability.

However, your goals can be important to you for different reasons, and much of this difference has to do with whether you are intrinsically or extrinsically motivated. When you do something because you enjoy it, are interested in it, or find it pleasurable, this is called intrinsic motivation. If you enjoy forging new relationships in dating, or place a lot of value on starting your own biological family, then you're intrinsically motivated and will be more persistent and intensive in your pursuit of a romantic relationship.

Step One: Understand your values and goals in relation to a romantic relationship. Writing down your goals and mission statement may be a good way to process and organize what it is that you really want from a relationship. Understanding both your intrinsic motivation and your extrinsic motivation can help create a clearer picture of whom you may want to date.

Step Two: Examine whether or not you believe you can be successful at starting a new relationship. Highlighting your personal strengths by journaling could help bolster your self-efficacy. Everyone has strengths that are often overlooked, so making the effort to identify them may positively affect your expectation of success in romantic relationships.

Step Three: Develop a positive language database or mantra. Again, journaling can be helpful. In this case, try remembering the positive events in your life and making a list of positive self-statements .You might also come up with a mantra: a short statement or word that aids in concentration, focus or direction. A mantra could simply be the word love or the statement I deserve to find happiness. Phrases like these can positively affect your self-efficacy and thereby increase your motivation.

Step Four: Seek out an environment that supports your goals. Ask yourself, What is it that I want from a partner and in what environment am I likely to meet that person? If you are hoping to find a partner who shares similar religious or spiritual beliefs, then place yourself in an environment where youre more likely to meet someone with these shared beliefs. This approach sounds obvious, but a lot of people are looking for love in all the wrong places. Its not impossible to find love with a person youve met in the early hours of the morning, inebriated, at a club, but it is highly unlikely.

Most importantly...........HAVE FUN WITH THIS NEW ADVENTURE

@HarveyM @Laura @KrinkTheMellowUnicorn @Power @SoulSings @AidedPlacebo