What Should I Try Next?
I am not really sure if I am depressed or anxious or just in a situation I dislike (?). However I have tried:
-Exercising
-Meditating
-Yoga
-Friendships
-Leadership and mentorship
-Improving grades (from a straight-C student to attending a top engineering university)
-Therapy
I have objectively succeeded at a lot of things(I guess not therapy), and yet I am...deeply unhappy? I don't know how to explain it. A lot of days there doesn't seem to be a difference between scrubbing a toilet, getting a good/bad grade, riding a rollercoaster, hanging out with friends, going on vacation, etc. Throughout many days, I wish that I would stop existing. After events I cry for no reason... or maybe because I am sad I didn't really enjoy it.
What should I try next? Move to another country? Prescription drugs? Finish my degree? Get a boyfriend? Take up smoking? I honestly don't know.
"Take up smoking" (LoL) Let's dismiss that one. I'd skip the prescription drugs to
As it seems your searching for fulfillment in your Life, perhaps seeking a BF might be a good idea. A (good) Relationship can be very satisfying and rewarding. Often the single most important aspect of ppls Lives
@ChromeLotus
Getting a boyfriend was kind of a joke as well, since there is nobody I really want to date. I am in college, so it isn't like I am not meeting enough people. No one piques my interest, even though I keep an open mind.
I think that you are probably right that the problem is a social one, since I usually feel my worst after social events, meeting, vacations, anytime I interact with other people. However, I don't know how to fix it. I tried having lots of friends, went back to just having a few close friends. I joke, laugh, tease, discuss, etc. with them. I don't really know what is missing in that respect.
@SpiralUp
I'm not a professional, but by what you said, I think you suffer of depression. Lacking of interest in everything is an evident symptom of it.
I think you should work on that. If therapy is not working, change therapist.
@dean1991
It is not so much that I am not interested in things. I am interested in music, kayaking, yoga, dance, and engineering. It is just that I am not sure I enjoy these things (sometimes it is obvious that I do, other times I am just uttering that I wish I was dead under my breath).Which makes me wonder if I just need to find new things to enjoy or that I think these are things I am interested in, but I was conditioned or convinced myself that these things would make me happier. Or that I am not trying hard enough. That is why I doubt I have depression.
@SpiralUp
@SpiralUp
You mainly said you don't enjoy anything and you are deeply unhappy. That sounds like depression to me.
Is it possible you don't really like many of the things you do? Yes, it is.
Is it possible you don't like NOTHING of what you do? In my opinion no, unless you have depression.
I can be wrong, anyway! And, as I said, I'm not a professional. Mine is just an opinion, take it for what it is.
I'm sorry about what you're going through. If you'd like to have a listener I'm available. Else, if you want to, we can keep talking here. What do you think of what I told you?
You could change therapist.